Chapter Thirty Six

Khushi stood in front of her dresser, looking at her outfit:

To say she wasn't nervous would be a lie, not to mention a total understatement. She took in deep breaths, calming down her crazy heart. In the middle of her breathing exercise, her phone rang, showing that it was Arnav calling.

"Hello," she said into the phone.

"Are you ready?"

"Mm hmm."

"Okay, I'm downstairs in front of the building."

"Okay, I'll be down soon."

Khushi grabbed her purse, locked up, and headed down. She walked out the door, seeing a black Audi R8 before her. She halted right on her tracks, gaping at the car. The passenger seat-door opened, revealing Arnav in the driver's seat, wearing a dark purple sherwani.

"This is your car," Khushi asked.

Arnav nodded. "You always spoke of the R8, so I got it because of you."

Khushi felt touched, not that she would admit out loud. She headed to the car and sat down, buckling up.

"I thought that taking this car would be better, since it is a drive to the venue," Arnav said.

"Hmm."

Arnav started up the car and headed into traffic, driving to the venue, out on Long Island. It was a long drive, but Khushi loved the speed of the R8. It went really fast, and she loved the gush of wind as they drove on. As they drove, both wondered how the night would go down. Would it go well, or would more emotions come to play?

*~*

Upon arrival to the venue, Khushi saw Anjali first thing. She went running to Khushi, hugging her tightly, chirpy as ever.

"I'm so happy you came," Anjali beamed.

Khushi could only smile. Anjali withdrew and it was evident by the look on Anjali's face that she knew of what had happened between them.

"Hi Chote," Anjali smiled, hugging her brother tightly.

"Hi Di," he smiled lightly.

"Let's get you two to the table," Anjali beamed, pulling back from Arnav. "Oh, and keep your shoes here where its safe - lots of dancing is going on so I suggest you take them off now rather than later.

They did as Anjali said and took their shoes off and placed them to the side where Anjali had her shoes as well. Arnav followed behind Khushi and his sister, as she led them. They could hear the music getting louder and louder, hearing Dholi Taro Dhol Baje playing.

Anjali was taking them towards the main hall, when Khushi's anklet came slipping off. Arnav stopped Khushi and she turned around to see Arnav bent to the floor, picking the anklet up. He looked up at her, his eyes asking if he could put it back on.Taking in a sharp breath, she slightly lifted up her skirt. Taking her foot in his hands, he placed it on his knee, and put the anklet back on.

Once he put it on, Khushi withdrew her foot immediately and walked away. Arnav watched her as she caught up to Anjali. He was determined to get her back - determined to get his love back.

Arnav walked into the main hall and stood to the side. He watched Khushi from there, taking in her beauty as she talked to Anjali. He was so glued to Khushi, he didn't see Anjali turn suddenly to pull Khushi onto the dance floor. They danced to the song, following everyone else doing the same choreography. Arnav couldn't help but to feel tempted, wanting to go in there and dance with her. He was making up his mind and just as the chorus started, Arnav joined the two. Khushi and Anjali was shocked, as well as a third person - Kalavati.

Yes, Kalavati was at the party, along with her mother and stepfather. Everyone was amazed and Arhat knew that this action was caused only because of the affect Khushi had on Arnav. He was happy to see his son infatuated by love. Kalavati however, was not.

Song after song played, and the dancing went on. After a while, the group had taken a break. Anjali and Khushi went over to the bar to get a drink. Arnav watched the two, the urge to talk to Khushi beginning to grow. He headed on over there and Khushi saw him coming. She could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to say something to her.

"Anajli, let's go dance again," she said.

Before Anjali could reply, Khushi took Anjali away back on to the dance floor. Arnav paused as Khushi rushed right past him. He knew at that instant that trying to talk to her wouldn't be easy. And it certainly became the fact when all of his attempts to talk to her had failed.

Dinner was placed and everyone was told to get their food. Arnav took this as an opportunity and went to Khushi. She was about to follow Anjali, but Arnav grabbed her hand and tugged her away, catching her off guard.

"Arnav let me go," Khushi said, trying to free her hand.

But Arnav didn't listen and continued to tug her away. He led her to a somehwat dark hallway and backed her up against the wall, leaning his body against hers. Khushi gasped, shocked by Arnav's actions. With her mouth open from gaping, Arnav took advantage of the situation and kissed her. Khushi's eyes shut, but she didn't kiss him back. She felt overwhelmed and didn't know what to do. She wanted to kiss him because she missed him and loved him, but she was hurt. She didn't want a man who didn't know what was love and what was fake.

Unable to keep her emotions in, she began to cry. Tears escaped, streaming down her cheeks. Arnav broke away, feeling the dampness and gasped, his heart caving in. He wiped her tears away immediately, hushing her, telling her not to cry. Khushi couldn't help herself but to cry, and Arnav whispered sweet nothings, wiping her tears away, telling her not to cry.

"Why are you crying baby," Arnav said softly.

"Because I'm so confused," Khushi whispered. "And I don't know what to do."

Arnav pursed his lips and looked down. Khushi looked down as well, both in an emotional state. Several moments passed, silence around them, when Arnav broke it.

"I love you Khushi."

Khushi looked up to see him looking at her. She looked away. "You're only saying that because you're afraid of me leaving you."

Arnav's jaw slacked. It was somewhat true - he did fear of losing her. "True, I do fear of losing you."

Khushi looked up, to stop her tears from falling.

"Because it's my biggest fear."

Khushi scrunched her eyebrows and looked at him.

"Losing the one I love is my biggest fear, Khushi. I can't lose you because I love you too much."

Arnav cupped her cheek and kissed her softly on her lips. "I love you Khushi. I love you very much. For a while, I was confused myself on what I felt for you. It took a while for me to understand that I had feelings for you. Only it took to long to realize - when you left me - that I love you."

Khushi just looked at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. From her expression, Arnav could tell that she was having trouble believing him. He couldn't blame her - after everything that had happened, Khushi had every right not to believe him.

But desperate to have her believe him, Arnav kissed her again, deeply. He desperately kissed her, hoping that this would somehow help her to believe that he was very much in love with her.

"Please believe me Khushi," Arnav begged. "I love you very much and I want you desperately."

Khushi froze. She couldn't believe that THE Arnav Singh Raizada was begging her to believe him. She knew Arnav was a strong man and he knew of his ways. If a person chose not to believe him, he could care less and would walk away. But yet here he was, begging and pleading her to believe in him.

Holding her against the wall by her waist, Arnav trailed down to her neck and began to nibble on it. "Please come back Khushi," he muttered against her neck. "Ever since you've left me, my world has collapsed. Nothing is the same anymore. Everything has changed and I've never felt so lonely in my life."

Khushi's eyes widened as the tears threatened to fall again.

"Please Khushi, please come back," he begged, nibbling on her earlobe. "I've already been left by someone who I loved very much - please don't let it happen again. I don't want it to happen again."

Khushi gaped and placed her hand in his hair. She tugged on it so that she could see him and saw that Arnav was crying. She felt her heart pit, seeing Arnav in such a state. His loneliness was evident in his eyes, as well as the love that it contained just for her.

"Please come back my love," Arnav whispered, a lone tear escaping.

Khushi felt her throat choking up, the tears threatening to fall.

"Please?"

Arnav looked so fragile, Khushi's heart wanted tear out of her chest and mend to him.

"Yes," Khushi whispered.

Arnav took in a sharp breath. "What," he asked, wondering if he heard correct.

"Yes, I'll come back," Khushi said, a tear escaping.

Arnav couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Really?'

Khushi nodded. "Yes."

Unable to contain his happiness, Arnav picked Khushi up and spun her around, beaming like he had in that old picture Khushi had found in his room. Her heart blossomed, unable to believe that she had brought that smile back. Putting her back down, Arnav kissed her passionately. This time, Khushi did respond, equal in passion.

Arnav pulled back and leaned his forehead against Khushi's. "I love you Khushi."

"I love you too, Arnav."

Arnav sighed. "You have no idea what those words do to me.

Taking Khushi's hand, he placed it over his heart. She felt his heart beat and looked up at him.

"The same happens to me," Khushi said.

With her free hand, she took Arnav's free hand and placed it over her heart. Both felt each other's heart beat at the same pace.

"It's our love that has our hearts beating together," Arnav said. "And nothing will ever stop it from beating together."

Khushi looked up at him. "Promise?"

"I swear-"

Khushi placed her hand over Arnav's mouth. "Don't swear Arnav."

Arnav moved her hand away and smiled. "This is something I can keep, Khushi. I won't ever let it break."

"I know, I believe in you. I just don't like it when people swear."

Arnav smiled softly. "Then I promise. Happy?"

Khushi nodded. "Very."

He kissed her. "Me too. I'm so happy, that I could take you here," he grinned devilishly.

Khushi shook her head. "We can't. There are people here, as well as your family."

"Baby, you should know by now that I don't care," he smirked, and nibbled on her neck, sucking on it as well.

"Arnav please," she said, trying to push him away. "We're at the wrong place at the right time."

Arnav let go and chuckled.

"What," Khushi asked innocently.

"Wrong place at the right time? Oh baby," he chuckled.

Khushi realized what she had said and began to laugh herself. It had been a while since the two of them had laughed. Once they calmed down, they looked at each other.

"I love you Arnav," Khushi said softly.

"I love you, too, Khushi," Arnav smiled.

And he meant his every word.

Chapter Thirty Five

"I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving you."

Two short sentences, and that was all it took to make Arnav's world come crashing down. He was somewhat confused as to why, but he knew one thing and that was that he couldn't let Khushi go.

Ironic, huh?

Khushi turned away, tears streaming down her cheeks, and stormed up to her room. She took out her bags and luggage and started to pack up all of her stuff. Seconds later, Arnav came in and watched in horror as Khushi packed.

"Why are you doing this," Arnav asked.

Khushi didn't listen to him, and brushed past him as she ran upstairs to the dressing room to get any stuff she left behind in there.

Arnav followed behind and just looked at her. "Khushi, why are you doing this?"

Khushi sighed and looked at the floor. "It's not your fault your mother committed suicide. If it's anyone's fault, then it your fathers." She looked up at him, tears pooling in her eyes. "You have to stop blaming yourself Arnav!! You don't realize how much your mother loved you."

Tears escaped and she wiped them away.

She scoffed. "I feel bad for her, actually, since her son doesn't believe in the love she gave him."

Khushi rushed past Arnav again and went back to her room. Taking everything she could manage, she took her stuff downstairs to the main floor. Etta heard the commotion and came peering in. Khushi took her bags and rolled them out, heading to the foyer to go onto the main landing.

Arnav only followed behind, feelings crawling into him. He didn't want her to leave. In fact, he was feeling something crumble. The dark walls around his heart began to crumble, revealing his red, beating heart. It was as if he hadn't been feeling his heartbeat for a long time. The rare times he did feel it was only because of Khushi. Khushi made him feel alive - she allowed his heart to beat. The walls broke off, and his heart was in full rhythm.

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!
Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

Khushi had not only made him feel alive, but had helped him realize something he should have a long time ago.

"Khushi, please don't leave," Arnav called out, running into the foyer as Khushi went onto the landing, calling the elevator.

"Khushi please, you can't leave! I love you!!"

Khushi's hand hovered over the already-pressed button. "It's too late to stop me this way, Arnav."

"Khushi, please, don't leave me," Arnav cried.

The elevator dinged and the door opened. Khushi walked in with her bags and Arnav ran towards it.

"Khushi, no, stop! Please stay," he cried as ran to the elevator.

The doors were already shutting, and the last thing Arnav saw of her was her tear-stained face.

"No," she cried. "I love you," and the doors shut, taking Khushi away.

Arnav stood frozen still. He just stared at the elevator doors, completely motionless.

Etta slowly came out and looked at him, "Sir?"

Arnav snapped back to reality and looked at the floor. Without a word, he walked right back into the penthouse. He stood still in the foyer, looking at the apartment around him. Suddenly, it seemed very big and spacious and above all - lonely. Memories of him and Khushi flashed before his eyes, one after the other. Unable to take it, he headed to the media room to shut off what started the fight in the first place.

He walked over to the VHS player, when he noticed the screen from the corner of his eyes. The video was of a little barbecue that him and his family were having in the old backyard at the house. Arnav and Anjali were both seated at the table, Arnav excited to get some food. Aisha came into the view, placing a platter full of shish kabobs down on the table.

"Stick chicken," young-Arnav exclaimed, clapping his hands.

Arnav sat down on the floor and watched as little-Arnav bugged his mother to feed him and he happily ate. Throughout the video, Arnav watched the bond between him and his mother. Not only did he watch this tape, but he played many others. He paid attention to him and his mother only, watching their bond. Arnav reached out and he picked up his blanky. He held onto it as he watched the next few tapes, laughing now and then at some of the funny stuff. He hugged his knees, holding his old blanky tightly. He snuggled into it now and then, placing it on his knees and then resting his head on it.

It was just a matter of videos, before Arnav realized his grave mistake. His mother did love him, and he had refused to believe it. Arnav went to play another video, when he noticed a tape he had never seen before. Curious, he rewound the tape and played it. It displayed a blank screen. but feeling that there was something on it, he forwarded the tape. It was a short while, when he saw his mother come up. Rewinding just a bit so he was at the beginning of the video, he pressed play and sat back down on the floor, holding his blanky to him.

"Hi Chote," Aisha said. "I made this video for you so that you know that I love you very, very much. I always have, do, and will forever love you. Even though I will be gone, know that i never left because of you. I love you baby, I always will. Remember to always keep the ones that you love close to you. You are a very special boy and you are very lovable, so always keep them close so that they can pour their love on you," she said, tears in her eyes. She blew a kiss. "I love you my son. I will forever love you," and the video ended.

Arnav sat there, tears escaping from his eyes. He truly realized his mistake and he wanted his Khushi back. He wanted her back immediately. Shutting off the projector, Arnav rushed out of the media room and grabbed his car keys. He headed out of the penthouse and called the elevator. Going into the underground garage, he climbed into the Cadillac and drove to Khushi's place. Braking harshly in front of her building, Arnav got out and went up to Khushi's apartment.

He knocked on the door hard. "Khushi!"

No answer.

He knocked again harder. "Khushi!"

But no one replied.

Remembering, Arnav got his keys out of his pocket and found the key to Khushi's apartment. Unlocking the door, he charged right in, only to find it completely dark. Switching the lights on, Arnav realized that Khushi hadn't come home.

Where is she, Arnav wondered.

He walked through the apartment, hoping to find something, not knowing what exactly. He groaned in frustration, headed out, locking the door behind. He got into the car and started it up. He drove around the neighborhood, but didn't see Khushi anywhere.

Where am I supposed to look for her?

Crestfallen, he headed back home. Etta had dinner ready, but Arnav refused to eat and headed to his room. Sitting down on his bed, Arnav looked at the spot where Khushi once used to sleep.

I will get you back Khushi, he promised. Even if its the last thing I do.

*~*

"Are you going to tell me what happened or not?"

Khushi had gone to Lavanya's place and Lavanya would not stop asking her what had happened.

"I told you La, I'm not gonna tell you."

"Khushi, I'm just worried for you. That's why I'm asking!"

"I'd prefer if you didn't. It would help me a lot."

Lavanya sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just that, I feel bad that you guys broke up."

"Wrong."

Lavanya scrunched her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Khushi looked at Lavanya determinedly. "Arnav will come back when the time is right," she stated.

*~*

A couple of days later, Khushi moved back to her apartment. Walking into her room, she glanced around, memories of her and Arnav playing before her. Pushing it aside, she began to unpack her clothes and put them away. She was in the middle of her unpacking, when she found the black dress she had worn on their first date at his place. Unable to help herself, Khushi began to cry. Below the dress was the choli that Arnav had made for her, causing Khushi to cry even more.

*~*

Several weeks passed since the incident. Khushi had turned her focus on school. With a new schedule for the new semester, she never saw Arnav, and Arnav never saw her.. Through out the weeks, Arnav had never come to see her. Nor did Khushi go over to his place to see him. The two were devastated, missing the one they loved the most. But Arnav had a plan, and he was ready to head forward with it.

Khushi had just come home from work, mail in hand. Most of it was nonsense, until she saw a packet from school. She opened it up and saw that it was a list of jobs that she was qualified for. Immediately, her eyes fell on AR Industries. Tears began to form, when the phone began to ring.

Putting the package aside, she picked up her phone to see Arnav calling. Khushi breathed in slowly, and took the call.

"Hello," she said lowly.

She heard Arnav take in a deep breath.

"Hi," Arnav said softly.

"Hi."

"How are you?"

"I've been better. ...you?"

"Terrible."

Khushi took in a sharp breath. "Oh."

"Yeah."

Both stayed silent for a moment, until Arnav broke it.

"Um... I was wondering if you'd like to go to a charity event my family holds."

"Oh...."

"Yeah.... So would you like to come? I mean go - would you like to go?"

Khushi pursed her lips. Instead of saying the word go they would say come, which was their little inside joke. Thinking of the offer he now placed on table, Khushi wondered if she should. She missed Arnav, no doubt, but would it be right of her to go?

"Yes," she heard herself say.

"Really," Arnav asked, thinking he didn't hear correctly.

"Yes," Khushi said softly.

"Great, so I'll pick you up. It's this Saturday."

"Okay."

Both hung up, a bit of hope starting to grow within them.

Chapter Thirty Four

The sun came shining in, waking Arnav up from his slumber. He sat up and looked to his side to see the sheets ruffled. He remembered the night before and realized that Khushi was here last night. He wondered if she was okay with spending the night with him on the same bed. He was somewhat positive since Khushi had asked him to make love to her the night before at the hotel. Images of last night played in his head and he loved the moments he had spent with Khushi. As for the other moments, he felt pretty embarrassed.

No one had ever seen Arnav Singh Raizada crack and be in tears. Only those who were close to him had seen him in tears. Now that Khushi had seen him in that state, he wondered if Khushi thought of him as weak and childish for crying so much.

Getting up, he washed up in the bathroom. He headed downstairs to the kitchen and saw Khushi digging into her pancakes and hash-browns. She was about to take a sip of her OJ when she saw Arnav at the doorway. Arnav flushed slightly, still feeling embarrassed that Khushi had seen him in that state the night before. He came walking in and sat on the stool next to Khushi and Etta placed his breakfast and left to do other chores. Arnav dug right in, not daring to look at Khushi.

"How are you feeling," Khushi asked softly.

Arnav paused mid-chew. "Better."

Khushi nodded and ate more of her hash-brown. "What are you doing today?"

"I'm gonna be at the office. ... keep myself busy with work and what not.... You?"

"I'll be out, not sure doing what," she lied.

"Okay," he replied, believing her.

The two ate in silence for moment, when Arnav spoke.

"Khushi, I want you to forget everything that happened last night."

Khushi simply nodded, but she totally ignored what he asked of her. She knew he was embarrassed - it was crystal clear, written all over his face.

The two finished up their breakfast and headed upstairs to get ready for their day. Arnav left for the office and Khushi took the subway and headed on over to Anjali's place at Bay Ridge. Ringing the doorbell, she waited for someone to open the door. The door opened, revealing Arhat.

"Namaste," Khushi smiled timidly.

"Namaste," Arhat smiled back. "Come in."

Arhat took Khushi into the living where they both sat down.

"How are you," Arhat asked.

"I'm well, thank you for asking."

Arhat smiled lightly. "So what brings you here?"

"Um, I came to see Anjali."

"Oh. Well I'm afraid she's gone outside."

"Oh..."

Arhat just nodded.

Khushi pursed her lips. She had come here to talk to Anjali so she could learn more about their mother, but now that Anjali wasn't here, she would have to change her tactics.

"Mr. Raizada, I was wondering if you could help me."

"Of course child, what is it?"

Here goes, she said in her head. "I was wondering if... if you could tell me about Arnav's mother."

Arhat's eyes slightly widened, but Khushi didn't miss it.

"Well," Khushi pushed.

Arhat looked down at his hands. "There's so much that can be said about her, but if anything... then it's that I loved her very much."

"Then why did you cheat on her?"

Arhat closed his eyes for a moment and then looked at Khushi. "I never did."

"What?"

"Being a man involved with business, everyone else does whatever they can to break you down. I was starting to get big and my competitors would do whatever it took to break me down. And they knew that if there was one way to break me, then it was through Aisha."

Khushi tilted her head, wanting to know more.

"I loved Aisha very much and I could never do that to her." He sighed. "Unfortunately, when someone told her that, she believed them... and never took my word when I tried to defend myself," he said, his voice cracking. "And then the next thing we knew... she committed sui-" but he couldn't finish the word, his throat choked up.

Khushi felt really bad as she watched the poor man cover his eyes with his hand, trying to hide his tears.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Arhat wiped his tears away and held his left hand. "You know I still wear the same wedding ring I got when I married Aisha."

Khushi looked at his hand. "Really?'

Arhat nodded and took his wallet out. He took out a picture and handed it to Khushi. She looked at the somewhat-worn photo, showing Arhat and Aisha together. They were holding each other, their hands on each other's shoulder. Khushi looked at Arhat's hand and noticed that it was the same ring he was wearing now.

"You still wear it even though she's gone," Khushi asked, handing the photo back.

Arhat nodded. "I never took it off." He chuckled lightly. "I bet it's really white underneath the ring."

Khushi pursed her lips.

Arhat sighed. "I loved her very much," he said, looking at the ring. "I was miserable after she was gone. That's why I disappeared." He scoffed lightly. "Arnav takes it wrong and thinks that I left to be with the person I was "having an affair" with."

Khushi looked side to side.

"I don't blame him. He loved Aisha so much," he smiled. Leaning back, he sighed. "It was a long while later when I met Kaushali. She wasn't in a good condition to raise Kala, and I had been thinking of the children needing a mother figure, so we compromised and got married. Things worked out for her and Kala... as for Anjali and Arnav...."

Khushi looked down. Poor guy, she thought to herself.

"It's understandable," Khushi said, looking back up at him. "Having a maternal figure around is different than just having a paternal figure around."

Arhat just nodded.

"Um... I was wondering if you have any stuff of Arnav and Aisha together."

Arhat nodded. "Of course, follow me."

Khushi followed Arhat up to the second floor and entered a bedroom.

Arhat turned the light on. "This is Arnav's old room."

Khushi walked in and scanned the room. The room was the typical blue, containing a single size bed in the corner, a desk, a wardrobe, and a computer. It was obvious that this room belonged to teenager-Arnav.

"I'll leave you to it," Arhat smiled softly, and he left.

Khushi walked around the room and observed it. There was a cork board on the wall, filled with pictures of cars, guitars, models in bikinis, athletic figures, and some notes. One thing that caught her attention was a picture of young Arnav and his mother. Aisha was squeezing Arnav tightly in a hug, and Arnav was beaming brightly, his smile huge, going from end to end of his face. Khushi couldn't help but to smile as her heart fluttered. She couldn't stop herself from touching the picture.

If only he smiled like that all the time.

Walking around, she looked at the guitars that hung on the walls.

I didn't know he played.

Khushi headed to his closet and turned on the light. There were still some clothes hanging and Khushi couldn't help but to go through it. Teenage- Arnav's wardrobe was 200% different than present-Arnav's. One thing for sure, teenage-Arnav didn't do designer clothes. Except for one thing that had caught her eyes - an Armani biker jacket.Taking it off it's hanger, she took her cardigan off and slipped on the jacket. It was slightly big on her, but it wasn't so bad.

Khushi was about to walk away, when she noticed several boxes on the floor. She pulled them out and found a whole bunch of picture albums. Going through them, she saw many photos of Arnav when he was a little boy. Not only were there photo albums, but there were VHS videos. She looked through them and figured out that they were tapes of Arnav when he was young.

Seeing all the video tapes, Khushi wanted to watch them. She took all the boxes out, when she found a box covered with a blue blanket. Having a feeling, Khushi picked up the blanket and held it.

I don't know why, but this seems special. But even if it is, why is it here?

"That's his blanket."

Khushi whipped around and saw Anjali standing at the door. She came walking in, standing a few feet away from Khushi.

"My mother used to cover Chote up with that blanket. It became his favorite blanket," she smiled. "Even as he got older, he never got rid of it."

Khushi looked down at the blanker in her hands. Soft and touchy Arnav.

"For as far as my memory can serve me, I remember my mother loving Chote unconditionally."

Khushi scoffed lightly. "And he thinks Aisha didn't,"she said, shaking her head.

Anjali shut her eyes. "It hurts to know that he thinks that," she said, turning her head away.

Khushi nodded in agreement. Looking at the boxes around her, her mission to watch the videos grew even more. "Anjali, if you don't mind, can I take these to watch?"

Anjali nodded. "Sure. They sit around here getting dusty anyways. I come in here now and then to clean it up." She looked at Khushi. "I'll help you take them."

*~*

Getting back to the apartment, Khushi had the staff bring up the boxes, saving Anjali the trouble. Carrying the last box in, Khushi settled down in the media room, where all sorts of gadgets were contained. She took a tape and placed it into the VHS and rewound the tape to the beginning. Pressing play, she sat on the floor and watched.

Video after video played. They contained birthdays, parties, holidays, and so much more! One thing they all shared in common was the love that Aisha had for her son. It was crystal clear that Arnav was her life! It was also clear to Khushi that the love wasn't even near fake, as Arnav proclaimed.

A couple of hours passed, when Arnav came home. Walking right in, he headed into the living room. Etta came in and gave him a glass of water.

"Where's Khushi." Arnav asked.

"She's in the media room," Etta replied.

Arnav nodded and handed the glass back to Etta.

"Shall I start up dinner?"

Arnav nodded and Etta left to the kitchen. He took of his suit and loosened his tie, then headed to the media room. Opening the door, he found Khushi sitting on the floor, hugging her knees, remote in hand, staring at the projection screen. He looked at it and his eyes widened, seeing his 4th birthday playing. Arnav clenched his jaws, his anger growing by the second.

"Stop that video this instant," Arnav said through his teeth.

Khushi simply turned her head to face him. "No."

"Khushi stop playing it this instant!"

Khushi simply turned away and continued to watch the video. "What's it matter if I've already seen it once?"

Arnav bubbled. "Why did you get these videos in the first place?"

"To show you that she cares."

"What?"

Khushi placed the remote down beside her and got up and face him. "Arnav, it is crystal clear in these videos that Aisha loved you very much. Not only do the videos show it, but those pictures do as well," she said, gesturing to the boxes filled with the albums.

Arnav was fuming. He didn't care about what Khushi had to say. Ignoring everything she said, he went to the boxes filled with the VHS tapes, and threw them. Khushi's eyes widened as he threw the tapes and the photo albums. He grabbed the blanket and was about to ruin it, when he froze. At the sight of it, flashbacks played in his head.

He saw himself running around the house and Aisha was chasing him. He saw himself in his room, refusing to go to sleep, until his mother gave him his blanky. It had made him so happy, that he jumped up and gave her a tight hug.

Arnav snapped back to reality and just stared at the blanket.

"Please try to understand, Arnav," Khushi said softly. "Aisha did love you, she really did. You're just not understanding-"

"No," Arnav replied stubbornly. "No she didn't."

Now Khushi was angry. "For fuck's sake, she did love you," she yelled.

Arnav's eyes widened. He had never seen Khushi this angry before.

"She didn't leave you and she committed suicide because she thought her husband was cheating on her! She was emotional! She was upset! She didn't die hating you! She loved you!!"

But Arnav wasn't any less angry. "Just shut up Khushi! Just shut up! You don't know anything and you don't know me!"

"I do fucking know you! You're a guy that does crazy fuckery! You use sex as a stress relief! You used to hire girls for sex! You're private and you hate your Steps! You used to do pot, you love Anjali, and you think that you're mother faked her love when she didn't! What other fucking shit is left to know!!!"

Khushi exhaled deeply and looked down. Arnav was about to say something, but Khushi cut him off.

"I'm done."

Arnav scrunched his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Khushi looked up at him. "I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving you."

Arnav's eyes widened as he felt his world crashing down.

Maha Update - Chapter Thirty Three

Arnav looked himself down one last time. It was the night of that stupid party, and Arnav really didn't want to go for... certain reasons, let's just say. But him not showing up would be a sign of weakness and Arnav Singh Raizada refused to appear weak. Above all, he refused to appear scared.

Removing invisible lint off of his navy blue Armani suit, he walked out of the dressing room and headed down to Khushi's room. He hadn't spoken to Khushi since their encounter, earlier in the day. Arnav was about to stride into her room, but he stopped. He knew better, knowing that Khushi would not like him barging into her room, especially after what he had done.

Arnav looked down and frowned. It puzzled him - he noticed that he was changing. The Arnav Singh Raizada he once was, was definitely different than the Arnav Singh Raizada now. He hadn't even realized his change, but he knew one thing - it was all because of Khushi.

And maybe, just maybe, Arnav wondered, it might be because-

Khushi's door opened and out came Khushi. Arnav looked up and was stunned. Khushi looked absolutely beautiful, not to mention sexy, in her yellow sari. But Arnav wasn't the only one ogling - Khushi ogled Arnav down like there was no tomorrow.

"I didn't realize you were ready," Khushi said once she snapped back.

"Doesn't take as much time as it does for you," he lightly smirked.

Khushi rolled her eyes. "Us girls can take as much time as we want. Problem?"

Arnav smiled. "Absolutely not."

Khushi squinted her eyes. "Making fun of me, are you?"

Arnav raised his hands up, gesturing his innocence. "Absolutely not."

"Hmm... now let's go."

Arnav bowed. "After you, my love."

Arnav froze as the words left his mouth, as well as Khushi, who had already started to head towards the stairs. Arnav wondered on why he had said that and Khushi couldn't believe her ears. But knowing him, she knew not to think that he meant it when he said my love, and she continued to walk away. Arnav on the other hand stood in place. Did he really just call her my love?

Coming back to reality, Arnav went downstairs, finding Khushi in the kitchen. She was drinking some wine and Arnav wondered why. Going over to her, he joined her and poured some wine for himself as well in a glass flute.

"Why the sudden need for wine," Arnav asked.

"I'm nervous," Khushi simply replied.

Arnav scrunched his eyebrows. "Of what?"

Khushi looked at him. "There's going to be so many people there, all big officials, CEO's, etc. I'm scared."

Arnav smiled. "There's nothing to be scared about, Khushi. It'll be fine."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Trust me - it will be. And if there's any way the night will turn to crap...."

Khushi cocked an eyebrow.

Arnav shook his head. "Nothing. Just- If something does happen, there's no need to worry because it'll involve something else."

"Involve what?"

Arnav finished his drink and placed the flute down. "Me."

Khushi looked at him confusedly, but Arnav turned away to put their glasses in the dishwasher. When he turned back, he asked if she was ready to go, Khushi nodding in reply. The two headed out and met Nigel downstairs and got into the Benz. Through the whole drive, Khushi just wondered on what Arnav had said.

How is it that if a problem were to occur, it would involve him? Did he do something in order for something to happen? She was puzzled.

As for Arnav, he was busy thinking about Khushi, looking out the window. He wondered about what he had said earlier. He wondered on his actions. He thought about his whole lifestyle. He thought about his life. Above everything, he thought of his mom. He was pained when he thought of her, not realizing that he had clenched his fists. It was when he felt Khushi's hand on his that he had realized. He looked down at their hands and then at Khushi's confused face. He simply shook his head, and looked back out the window.

She's an angel, he said in his head. After what I've done, she should've been gone... but yet she's still here. She really must be a strong person... stronger than me.

Arnav glanced at Khushi, who was looking out the other window.

How in the world did I manage to have her in my life? I don't deserve her. She deserves better - she deserves someone who will treat her like the angel she is.

Khushi was about to turn her head, so Arnav looked back out his window.

I don't deserve her. I should've had her leave when I had the chance. I shouldn't have had her stay and live with me. I thought I'd show her what I really am... but I couldn't. I can't! She's just too good for that. ... she's too good for me - she should find someone else.

It pained Arnav to think that, but he knew he was right.

She should find someone else.

*~*

Pulling up to the Hilton Hotel, Nigel opened the door for Khushi, and Khushi stepped out. Arnav came out as well and went around to Khushi's side. Offering his arm, Khushi took it and the two walked in, cameras capturing picture after picture of the two. The couple followed the others in and entered the grand ballroom. Khushi looked around on amazement, the ballroom shining in the bright lights from the very crystallized chandeliers.

Not even being there for a minute, the couple had been attacked by other guests. They were people Arnav knew, most of them CEO's of their own companies, or something else that Khushi didn't really pay attention to.

"So who is this fine, young lady," asked one of the suits.

"This is Khushi," Arnav smiled. "My girlfriend."

Everyone that stood around Khushi and Arnav looked at Khushi in shock. Of course it was there for a split second, but Khushi had noticed it all.

"Well she must be very lucky," the man smiled.

Arnav wrapped his arm around Khushi's waist. "She is," he stated.

Khushi glanced up at Arnav and then smiled at the others. She didn't know what to think. Arnav was confusing her very much and it was making her head spin. Not only was he confusing her, but the other people were as well. They all looked at her like they'd never seen Arnav with another girl. She remembered of Arnav mentioning his exes, so why was it so weird that he had brought her? It took her a moment to realize that maybe Arnav had never gone public with them. Otherwise they surely would've came up in her research on Arnav.

The night went on, and it became easy for Khushi to talk to the people there. She had met some CEO's who were rather impressed with her skills. Some had even told her to try to apply for their company, and she told them that she'd keep their offers in mind.

Khushi was now talking to two women, both wives of CEOs. They were talking about Khushi's sari, when someone tapped Khushi's shoulder. Turning around, she found a man smiling at her. He was in a crisp black suit, his smile stunning, and sharp eyes.

"Hello," he smiled. "my name is Dhruv."

Khushi smiled softly. "Nice to meet you, Dhruv. I'm Khushi."

Khushi held her hand out and instead of shaking hands, he kissed it. Khushi didn't know why, but she inwardly cringed. Something about him sent of a huge red light in her head, saying that there was something wrong with him. But she found her thought absurd since she didn't know him at all.

"Pleasure to meet you," he smiled, standing straight. "Especially since you're Arnav's girlfriend."

Before Khushi could question him, he turned and called a waitress over for drinks. He had them all take a glass of champagne, as well as for himself, and the waitress left.

"So tell me about yourself Khushi," Dhruv said. "I believe you're still in school."

"I am," Khushi said, taking a sip.

"What do you study?"

"Accounting."

"Planning on taking the CPA exam?"

"Definitely."

Dhruv went on with questions, as if he were trying to get every detail he could of her. Khushi didn't feel very comfy about it, so she gave as many blunt answers as she could. Things got worse when the other two ladies left them to talk. She really didn't feel comfortable talk to Dhruv whatsoever.

Arnav, on the other hand, had been busy talking to a stock broker, when he noticed Dhruv talking to Khushi. He scorched up instantly, not liking things one single bit.

Khushi noticed Arnav and saw the anger, mistaking it as jealousy, all over his face. With Arnav being confusing, she needed to know what he truly felt for her. What Arnav did to her was inexcusable, of course, but if how Arnav was acting lately was a way of apologizing, she wasn't sure. She had seen Arnav changing, but she needed to know what he felt for her. The only reason why she was still here was to be positive on whether or not he loved her. Seeing how he was acting now, she needed to see if she really was his love as he had said earlier.

Dhruv had said a stupid joke, and wanting to get Arnav boiling with jealousy, she started to laugh. He continued on with his corny jokes, but Khushi laughed on and on, touching his arm now and then. Arnav was definitely boiling, and he wasn't going to stand there and watch.

Just as he excused himself, Arnav saw Dhruv touch Khushi. It made him absolutely furious and he was about to yell at Dhruv, when he saw how uncomfortable and awkward Khushi was getting by him touching her. Arnav took a sharp breath, now knowing very well that she had done what she had, just to make him jealous. She had done well, but now it backfired.

Walking over like the powerful man he is, Arnav went over to Khushi's side. Khushi looked at Arnav as he moved to her side and wrapped his arm around her bare waist. Dhruv glanced and saw Arnav's protective hand over her, and then looked at Arnav with a fake smile.

"I see you've met Dhruv," Arnav said to Khushi, not taking his eyes of Dhruv.

Khushi could hear the iciness in Arnav's voice and knew that her instincts were right - something was wrong with Dhruv.

"He's a business rival of mine," Arnav continued. "Of course, my company has always done better than his. He's always lagging behind in second."

Dhruv faked a smile. "There can always be a change."

"And I'll make sure it doesn't happen," Arnav said sharply.

Khushi looked up at Arnav and saw the fierceness in his eyes. She looked at Dhruv and then back at Arnav. There was definitely something between these two, and she knew she had messed up here - big time - trying to make Arnav jealous with this man.

"If you'll excuse us," Arnav faked a smile, and took Khushi away with him.

Khushi tried to catch up with Arnav's pace, glancing at everyone else around them, who were looking at them. She slightly blushed, and hurried behind Arnav. Once they were out of the ballroom, Khushi followed Arnav down some halls to the elevator. Once they were inside, Khushi tried to free herself.

"Arnav, I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't know there was something between you two. I-"

The elevator doors opened and Arnav took her out. She followed him down the hall and stopped in front of a door. Swiping it open with a key card, he took them both inside and then released Khushi, shutting the door behind him, placing the "Do Not Disturb" sign. Khushi gulped and was scared.

Is he gonna do it again, Khushi wondered, scared.

Arnav went up to her and then grabbed her by her waist and leaned her up against the wall. Khushi gasped to the sudden action, but was cut off because Arnav kissed her.Pulling away, Khushi looked at him in shock. She was totally confused.

"Don't ever - EVER - try to make me jealous," Arnav warned. "And don't EVER be around Dhruv again."

Khushi just blinked.

"I mean it Khushi - Dhruv is bad news! He's bad with the girls and if you favor your life, you will stay away from him."

Khushi gulped. Is Dhruv that scary, she wondered. "I'm so confused," she said softly.

"Better confused than knowing anything about him, baby."

Khushi nodded, taking in his words. Both were silent for a moment until they noticed their position. Arnav looked at how he had Khushi pressed up against the wall and it was making him crazy, completely turned on by her. Khushi, on the other hand, was in awe by how much care he showed and how protective he had gotten back in the ballroom. But to say she still wasn't confused, would be a lie.

Everything this man before her made her feel was a million percent confusing. She hated how he had treated her, but she still loved him. She loved his caring side, and she absolutely loved how passionate he could be. Khushi was downright confused but if she understood anything then it was that she loved him, no matter what he said or did to her - and she felt damn right confused about it.

Arnav thought of their position and thought that Khushi would not be liking it. After what he had done, he wouldn't be surprised if Khushi never wanted to have sex with him again. He tried to pull away, but Khushi caught onto him and stopped him.

"Don't pull away," she pleaded.

Arnav looked at her confusedly.

"I want you Arnav," she practically panted.

"What?"

"I want you. I want you now Arnav - right here, right now."

Arnav blinked in confusion. "Khushi-"

"Please Arnav! I want you dammit!"

Khushi smashed her lips onto his and Arnav was in total shock. He felt her trying to push her tongue through to his mouth, trying to show how much she wanted him. Trying to pull away, Khushi stopped him and managed to push her tongue forward. She began to unbutton his suit and disposed of it. She loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt and disposed of it as well. But through it all, Arnav was confused. How could she wants him after what he had done?

"Love me Arnav, please," she begged. "Here, now, at this very moment."

Arnav just looked at her.

"Touch me Arnav," Khushi begged, taking his hands in hers. "Feel me," and she moved his hands over her sensitive parts.

Unable to control himself, Arnav gave up to her passion and kissed her, groaning from his throat. He disposed of her sari, and Khushi disposed of everything that was left on his body. Both were naked and moved and stumbled back onto the bed.

To say that Arnav was shocked, was a total understatement. As Khushi continued her craziness, Arnav couldn't believe how much she wanted him, nor how much he wanted her. He had never felt this way for a woman before, not ever! As Arnav watched Khushi shudder beneath him and gasp his name, he realized then that she was the only one he ever wanted to hold. She was the only one he wanted to cherish, both body and soul. As he watched Khushi cry out beneath him, coming off her high, he knew that she was the only one he'd ever make love to.

Pouring himself into her, Arnav collapsed. He rolled over beside her and held Khushi tightly to him. Catching his breath, Arnav got lost in thought.

Why was it that with her, things felt better? Why was it that with her, sex had meaning? Why was it that with her, his heart felt content? Why was it that with her, his life seemed better and worth living? Why was it that with her, he was happy? Why was it that with with her... he felt love?

Because you love her, a familiar voice said.

Sitting up with a start, Khushi looked up at him in confusion. "What's wrong Arnav?"

Arnav shook his head. Khushi sat up, and placed her hand on his shoulder. Out of nowhere, Arnav crushed her lips with his and kissed her desperately. Khushi was shocked at first, but then kissed him back. He held her face in his hands and Khushi held onto his hands.

Breaking away, Arnav said "when we get home tonight, I want to make love to you."

Khushi looked at him and nodded. She knew something was up and something was bothering him.

Out of nowhere, Arnav hugged her tightly, surprising Khushi. She held him to her and Arnav had his eyes screwed shut. Suddenly, visions began to play in his head.

"No," he whispered.

Khushi scrunched her eyebrows. She tried to pull back to ask what he meant by no, but when she tried, Arnav's grip tightened.

"No!"

Arnav shook, the visions still flashing in his mind. He saw him and his mother playing in their old backyard. He saw his mother holding him tightly to her chest, reading a story. He saw his mother hugging him tightly, telling him that she loved him.

Khushi placed her fingers in his hair. "Arnav?"

Arnav's grip tightened as another vision played. It started hazy, Arnav in a white room. He couldn't figure out where he was or how to get out. He turned around and saw a woman standing with her back facing him. As he approached her, she turned around, revealing to be his mother. Arnav couldn't believe his eyes and ran towards her. She held her arms out and Arnav hugged her tightly, tears releasing.

Cupping his face, she tilted it up. "I love you Arnav. No mother could ever be as proud as I am of my son."

Before Arnav could say anything, a gush of wind blew really hard. The room started to blacken and both mother and son looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. The wind blew harder and pushed in between the two. The two recoiled back, the wind blowing even harder. When Arnav looked back, he saw his mother being pushed back farther.

"Arnav," his mother cried out.

The room was getting darker and Arnav needed to save his mother. He ran towards her but the wind blew harsher. The lights blinked and the room shook. Suddenly a dark shroud appeared and began to wrap around Arnav's mother's feet.

"Arnav!"

Arnav's eyes widened and he tried to run towards her. But the wind was still harsh and the shroud continued to take her. Arnav tried his best and got to his mother, but the shroud was taking her away.

"Arnav, I have to go, they won't let me stay!"

Arnav shook his head and tried to get her but they took her away.

"No," Arnav cried, "Don't leave me!"

Arnav was shaking in Khushi's arms, his eyes clenched tightly. She ran her fingers through his hair and held him tightly.

"Arnav, I'm right here," she soothed.

But Arnav was still lost. He was trying to free his mother, but the shroud had engulfed her.

"No," Arnav yelled.

But the shroud had picked her up and the room faded to black. Arnav couldn't see anything, until moments later, when the lights came back on. He looked all around, but his mother was gone. He ran around like a lunatic but she was nowhere to be seen.

"No! Please don't leave me," he cried.

Arnav was shaking and sweating in Khushi's arms. Khushi was really scared now, but she didn't let go of him. She held him securely to her and kissed him on top of his head.

"I will never leave you," Khushi soothed. "I love you."

Arnav's eyes shot open. He was breathing heavily, registering everything he'd just seen. Pulling back he looked at Khushi, who looked absolutely worried.

"Are you okay," Khushi asked, holding his face in her hands, observing him.

In a matter of seconds, Arnav cracked. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he hugged her again. Khushi stilled, completely shocked. She had never seen Arnav in tears before!

"Arnav?"

Khushi couldn't believe she was seeing the love of her life break apart. Arnav held onto her and cried on her shoulder and Khushi could feel her heart break. She never would've thought  that a strong man like Arnav Singh Raizada would crack and fall into pieces. But then again, she knew Arnav to a farther extent than anyone and the misery held within him.

She just never thought she'd ever see him in such a state.

"Please don't cry baby," Khushi said softly, tears pooling in her eyes. "Please Arnav?"

"Why did my mother leave me," Arnav asked. "Did she not care? Did she not love me? Did she fake her love?!"

"Hush Arnav," she soothed. She pulled back and held his face in her hands. "Don't say that. It's not your fault Arnav and she loved you very, very much-"

"I don't believe that!"

Khushi looked at him in shock as Arnav pulled back and looked away.

"I hate her," Arnav muttered.

Khushi gasped. "Arnav don't say that!" She cupped his face again and had him face her. "You don't mean that-"

"I do! And I hate her to the core!"

Arnav abruptly stood up and headed towards the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Khushi just stared at the door, very much upset that Arnav was saying such things.

*~*

Later that night, after hours of intense love making, Arnav had fallen asleep. As for Khushi, she could only watch Arnav sleeping. It hurt her to hear Arnav say such harsh things about his mother. She didn't like it whatsoever. From all she had learned, she would've said that his mother loved him to bunches!

Lying down and turning to her side, she faced Arnav. Arnav groaned and held Khushi around her waist, pulling her in, burying his face in her chest. Khushi wrapped her arm around Arnav and sighed. She didn't want to see Arnav like this, so she knew she would have to fix this. But in order to solve this, she would have to find out more information.



Hopefully this was a long enough update *fingers crossed* lol
So what did you guys think? Tbh, this was one scary chapter for me to write. Not because of the content, but because of the emotions I wanted to portray here. I wanted to show that Arnav isn't so cold hearted as many of us think and  I wanted to show a crack of the emotions inside of him.
Hopefully it was good? o_O
Please like and comment :)

Chapter Thirty Two

The city was bright, even though it was late at night. Arnav had passed out a couple of hours ago, but Khushi couldn't sleep. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't sleep. She tossed and turned - she even tried counting sheep! But nothing helped her at all, so she got out of bed and wandered around the penthouse.

Khushi wandered into the kitchen and drank some OJ. Walking around the apartment did nothing, so she came up with a decision. Leaving the glass on the counter, she went all the way up to Arnav's room. Slowly opening the door, she walked in and peeked over at his bed. Arnav was sound asleep, looking absolutely adorable. Unable to resist, she walked over to Arnav and carefully sat down on the bed. It slightly dipped, but not so much. Khushi looked at Arnav surprisingly - Arnav was laying down on his front, clutching onto Khushi's pillow. It was something Khushi never expected from Arnav, thinking that he wasn't one of those guys to hold onto their girl's pillow when they weren't sleeping next to them.

Khushi looked at him affectionately, putting her fingers through his hair. Arnav sighed, causing Khushi to pause. When he didn't wake up, she continued to play with his ever-so-soft hair. It was always a wonder to Khushi how he managed to keep his hair so soft.

Sighing, Khushi got up and went to the dressing room and got her clothes. Dropping her pajamas to the floor, she changed her clothes, and then walked out of the room. She looked at Arnav one more time, and left.

*~*

Arnav woke up with a start. His body shook as he breathed, his body covered in sweat. Reaching to his side table, he grabbed the glass of water and gulped it all down. It didn't help him one bit, visions of the nightmare flashing before his eyes. He needed them to go away; he needed to apologize - he needed Khushi. Jumping out of bed, he dashed down to Khushi's room. Throwing the door open, he found the room empty. Arnav looked around the room confusedly. He checked the walk-in closet and the bathroom, but Khushi wasn't there. He checked the terrace, but she wasn't there either. Arnav began to panic and looked all over the apartment - but he couldn't find her anywhere. Running back to his room, Arnav grabbed his phone and called Khushi. As the phone ringed, he heard "Animals" by Martin Garrix playing elsewhere. Puzzled, he moved his phone away from his ear and followed the sound. Walking into the dressing room, he found Khushi's pajamas pooled on the floor. Bending down, Arnav picked up Khushi's phone.

"Dammit," he muttered, squeezing the phone, looking away in anger.

Ending the call, Arnav walked out of the room and headed to his room, holding both phones in his hand, he grabbed the keys to his Cadillac and headed downstairs. If anything, he would look everywhere just to find her.

Just as Arnav got to the bottom floor, he heard something. It sounded like as if it were coming from the kitchen, so he went there. He found the light on and saw Khushi standing by the fridge, a cold water bottle in hand, her covered in sweat. Not wasting a single second, Arnav went to Khushi and pulled her into him, shocking Khushi. Her eyes were wide as Arnav shook, holding her.

"Where did you go," Arnav breathed.

"I couldn't sleep, so I went out for a run-"

"At this time?!"

"Arnav it's almost 6-"

"Don't ever leave me like that again. Okay? Never! Don't ever leave me! Don't ever leave me...."

Khushi's eyebrows scrunched as she wrapped her arms around him. She couldn't believe how Arnav was acting. It was almost as if he had gone mental or something. Holding him, she now realized that he was sticky in sweat, but not because of her. The back of his navy t-shirt was wet from sweat. Khushi concluded that he must've had another one of those nightmares.

"Arnav let me take you to bed-"

"No! No, I don't want to let go of you," he exclaimed, and clutched onto her tighter.

Khushi was in shock. This dream must've been really bad if he was acting like this. But if it was that bad, would he ask her to...?

"Arnav, you need rest. Let's go to bed," Khushi said softly.

Arnav pulled back and looked at her. "You'll come to bed with me?"

Khushi wasn't exactly sure of what he was asking of her, but she nodded.

Not wasting another second, Arnav picked her up and took her upstairs to his room. As he put her down, Khushi wondered if Arnav was going to do what he usually did when he had his nightmares - have sex. Instead of saying anything, Arnav placed Khushi's pillow back on her side and had Khushi lay down. He went around to the other side and laid down beside her, pulling her to him. Khushi looked at him in shock as he held her tightly, his face buried into her breasts. Arnav drifted asleep and Khushi could only look at him. Placing her fingers in his hair, Khushi thought about his actions. He had acted as if he were mental and when he had asked her to never leave him, it puzzled her. Not so long ago, Arnav wanted her gone, and now he was asking her not to leave? She was confused.

Arnav sighed and moved, nuzzling her breasts. Khushi froze on the spot, turning stiff.

"I won't do anything," Arnav muttered against her breasts. "I will never force myself on you again," he promised.

Khushi gasped unknowingly.

Gently pressing a kiss on her chest, Arnav dozed off to sleep. Khushi stayed still for a moment, not breathing at all. She was surprised that he wasn't going to have sex with her, but just sleep with her. When he had kissed her, her body had tingled. She cursed at herself for still reacting to him after what he'd done to her. She sighed as she looked at him lovingly. She damned herself for being confused and for loving the most confusing being on the planet.

Not giving another thought to anything, Khushi slowly dozed off to sleep, both holding each other in their arms.

*~*

Arnav groaned slightly, and opened his eyes. Although he had done this numerous times, Arnav's breath was taken away as he woke up to see Khushi asleep next to him. Arnav blinked, making sure that what he was seeing was real. It was real, and Arnav couldn't believe that she had actually stayed beside him. Slowly getting up, he stood up to wash up, when he heard Khushi.

"Arnav," she muttered.

Arnav froze and looked at her. She was still sleeping, mumbling in her sleep. Curious, he moved closer to hear her. Khushi muttered some more, mumbling mostly. Arnav barely understood what she said, until the last thing she said.

"I love you," she breathed, and She turned onto her front, holding onto her pillow.

Arnav just looked at her. Even after what he'd done, she still loved him. With the other women he had been with and had acted the same with - they'd all cursed him and hate him. But here was Khushi, still in love with him, even after all he had done.

Arnav felt his heart thump and placed his hand above it.

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

Arnav looked at his hand over his heart and then at Khushi. Standing straight, he headed to the bathroom to wash up, 100% determined.

Chapter Thirty One

Khushi stood in front of the mirror as she adjusted her top and blazer. Clipping her hair back, Khushi checked her reflection one more time and then headed out to leave. She picked up her purse and checked her wallet as she stepped out of the room. As she walked out, she saw Arnav. He had just come down, busy talking on the phone. Khushi knew what she said was mean, but it was only the truth. It was up to Arnav to choose whether or not he wants to think about it.

But Arnav was thinking about it. Only for a slight bit though, feeling off about Khushi's words. He felt confused and didn't like Khushi's words at all. It was odd to him since he had heard other women tell him this, but to hear it from Khushi's mouth could only bother him. He would've thought forward on it, but his phone began to ring, so the topic ended there.

Khushi stood there for a few seconds and watched Arnav. He had a file in his hands and he was going through it, looking like the businessman he is. She looked him up and down, taking in the light blue button down and his black dress pants. Khushi lightly smiled to herself as she remembered how she used to keep detail of what he wore, since everything he wore flashed price tags. Now, she was used to it, and it made her wonder on all the change.

Things definitely have changed, she said in her head.

"Khushi?"

Khushi snapped out of though and looked up to see Etta.

Khushi understood why she was here and nodded. "I'll be down in a few."

Etta nodded and left. Khushi looked up to see Arnav looking at her, but he was still holding the phone, so she assumed the other person was talking. Tucking her hair behind her ear, Khushi headed out to leave, when he spoke.

"Khushi," Arnav called out.

Khushi stopped and turned. Arnav cradled the phone between his ear and shoulder as he approached her. He reached behind her and unclipped the hairclip Khushi had put to hold her hair back. Khushi's hair came tumbling down and Arnav fixed it.

"There's my beautiful girl," he softly said as he smiled.

Khushi curved her lips a bit to make a faint smile, but she was confused.

Arnav pecked her cheek and went back to his work. Khushi stood there for a few and then left. She left silently and went downstairs and took the elevator down to the lobby. The entire trip down, Khushi kept replaying what had just happened in her head. She arrived to the lobby and exited the building. Nigel was waiting at the Bentley, holding the door open. Khushi headed right in and Nigel went around and sat in the driver's seat. He pulled into the busy streets of Manhattan, everyone bustling around for their own needs.

Khushi took her heels off and put her feet on the seat. She pulled her legs in and rested her chin on her knees. Memories played in her head and she sighed.

"Why are you so confusing," Khushi whispered aloud.

Nigel scoffed slightly and Khushi looked at him.

He looked at her through the rear-view mirror. "Because he's been thrown around with no one to care," he lightly smiled, and looked back forward.

*~*

Khushi looked at all the sari's the clerk had laid out. She was trying to decide on which one to buy, but she was too distracted. She kept thinking of what Nigel had said in the car.

*Flashback*

"Because he's been thrown around with no one to care," he lightly smiled, and looked back forward."

*End of Flashback*

Khushi wondered on those words. Was there something Nigel knew that she didn't?

She smacked her forehead. Of course he does, she said in her head.

 

The clerk looked at Khushi like she was crazy. Khushi shrugged and gave an apologetic smile and walked out. There was nothing there that satisfied her whatsoever. Khushi walked down the block and went into the next store. If anything, she knew she would find a sari somewhere in Jackson Heights. Khushi browsed around, looking for something special, when a sari caught her eyes. She asked the sales woman to show it to her. The sales woman laid it out and Khushi ran her fingers on it. She knew instantly that this one was the one, so she bought it. The blouse was to be made, so Khushi left her measurements and expected it ready in two days.

Khushi found Nigel on 73rd Street, just like he had said. He got out of the car and opened the door for Khushi as she slid in, placing the bag beside her. Nigel shut the door and went back around and started up the car. He pulled into traffic and Khushi sat back and wondered.

Has Nigel been working for Arnav for long, she wondered.

Taking her chances, Khushi asked.

"Nigel?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"How long have you been working for Arnav?"

"Sixth year almost to an end, Ms. Gupta."

Khushi's eyebrows shot up. "Wow... that's a really long time."

"Yes it is, but it doesn't feel that way."

Khushi nodded as she leaned back.

Take your chances, she said in her head. "So that means you've known him for quite a long time."

"Yes I do."

Khushi pursed her lips. The way he said it, Khushi knew there was no way to carry on the conversation without being obvious.

"Ma'am?"

Khushi looked up. "Yes?"

"If you're wondering about Sir's past, I'll tell you this - he's dealt with enough pain. If you really want to know, I suggest you figure him out because he'll never share his feelings."

Khushi blinked and nodded once. She knew there was something that bothered Arnav very much. Yes there was his mother's death, but it seemed like there was more than that. And then she remembered his steps.

It most definitely is more than his mother's death, she said in her head.

*~*

Khushi headed on up, holding the bag that held her sari. As she entered the penthouse, she had a feeling that something was wrong. She didn't know what, but she knew she was going to find out. Entering the living room, she saw Arnav laying down on the sofa, his leg hanging off the armrest. His eyes were shut and he was breathing lightly, one arm resting on his chest, the other hanging to the floor. Khushi crept towards him, not wanting to make any noise to wake him up. She assumed he must be tired since he hadn't gotten enough sleep, coming to her room last night.

Khushi bent down to her knees and looked at Arnav. He looked young in his sleep, unlike his business, tyrannical self. Looking at him reminded her of the sweet and caring Arnav, the man that loved her oh so very much. Unable to help herself, she ran her fingers through his soft hair. Within a second, Arnav's eyes opened, causing Khushi to still, her eyes widening. She didn't want him to think that she had forgiven him so easily, so she went to withdraw her hand. But when she tried, Arnav caught her hand. Khushi looked at their hands and then at him. Arnav brought her hand down to his lips and softly kissed her palm. Khushi never understood why, but whenever he would do that, she would feel tingles run through her. Arnav himself knew very well of the affects of the things he would do to her, and he knew this as well. He didn't need to know from her because he could see the affect himself.

Arnav slowly sat up as he kissed his way up Khushi's arm softly. Khushi mentally cursed at herself. On the car ride back, she had removed her blazer and was only in her top, which had no sleeves, leaving her arms totally exposed and giving Arnav total access to her flesh. Khushi tried to fight it, but she couldn't - she was melting with desire. Arnav slowly trailed his way up, reaching her shoulders and moving to her neck. Khushi couldn't help but to expose her neck to him, giving him complete access. Arnav continued on with his expedition, travelling up till he was hovering over her lips. Khushi stayed there waiting, wanting nothing more but his lips on hers. She craved him so much, she felt silly. But she wanted him, and she wanted him to satisfy the desire that bloomed in her belly.

"Khushi," Arnav whispered.

Khushi opened her eyes and looked at him. He was looking deep into her eyes and Khushi felt herself melt even more. It was crystal clear that he wanted her and Khushi only wanted to give herself to him. The way he was looking at her made her blush, that she had to turn away. It was then that she noticed that moments ago, when Arnav was laying down with his arm hanging off, there was a glass sitting there, filled with alcohol. Khushi realized then that he was drunk, ridding her off all the desires she just had.

Khushi shot up to her feet, causing Arnav to recoil. He looked up at Khushi and saw that her crave for him was gone, causing his temper to rise.

Arnav stood. "What the hell Khushi?!"

Khushi looked at him angrily. "Are you drunk Arnav?"

"What?"

Khushi's eyes traveled to his drink and Arnav's eyes followed.

Arnav fumed. "So what if I drank?"

"I will not let you touch me in a drunken state, especially after what you did!"

Khushi turned away and walked out of the room to head to her room. Arnav stood there, but he wasn't fooled. He may have drank, but he was still sober. He was confused of course, wondering what to do with Khushi since she was still clearly upset about what he had done.

I have to make it up to her, one way or the other, he said in his head, and finished his drink, clanking the glass down to the table. 

Chapter Thirty

For Anysia - her post: http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3775308&PID=100692931&#p100692931

It was late night, almost 3 AM. Arnav had gone to bed at 11:30, after showering, and since then, Arnav couldn't fall asleep. His eyes were wide open, not an ounce of sleep in them. He just couldn't sleep. All Arnav could think of was Khushi. He was worried. He tried to convince himself that she was fine, but he couldn't accept it - he was just too worried about her.

Unable to sleep, Arnav got up and went out of his room. He headed downstairs to the middle floor and went to the library. Walking over to his desk, Arnav opened up the top drawer and got out a set of keys. They were the master keys and Arnav could open every single door.

Arnav headed across the conference room to Khushi's door. Finding the key to her room, he inserted the key and turned it. Quietly, he carefully opened the door. Inside, it was dark, lights from the skyscrapers peeking in through the windows. Khushi was asleep on her bed, wrapped in the sheets she had ran away in earlier. Arnav quietly walked over to her and carefully sat beside her, making sure to not wake her. Arnav reached out and brushed Khushi's hair aside and then cupped her face. He noticed the dry tear stains on her face and felt his heart clench, understanding that she had cried herself to sleep.

Arnav clenched his fists. Getting up, he went to the bathroom and found a small washcloth. He went over to the sink to wet it and then went back to Khushi. Carefully, he wiped her face clean, making sure she didn't wake up. As he cleaned her up, he couldn't help but to gaze at her.

She used to be a very chripy person, Arnav said in his head. Always bubbly and out-going. And now... now she's nothing. ... she's been hollowed out... because of me....

Arnav placed the washcloth on the bedside table and then used the hem of his navy blue t-shirt to dry her face. He noticed that her face was pale. Not deathly pale, but pale. There was absolutely no glow to her whatsoever. The blush on her cheeks had disappeared as well.

"This is all my fault," Arnav whispered aloud. "If you had never come into my life- or even if I had never come into your life, then this never would've happened. If I hadn't gone around and increased my interest in you, then none of this would've happened."

Khushi shifted and turned, resting her cheek on his hand, as she reached out and held his arm.

Arnav felt his heart twist and it hurt him. He remembered the times they had spent together and realized something big. Something very big, and something she didn't and needed to know.

"I've fooled you Khushi," he whispered. "I displayed myself completely wrong. I made you think... I've tricked you Khushi," he said, turning to her with pain in his eyes. "The man that you fell in love with... that's not me. I'm not... I'm not the man you think I am or who I showed you. I'm cruel. I'm harsh. I'm cold. I'm not the man you think I am. I'm much more different that - the complete opposite."

Khushi snuggled into his hand, making Arnav sigh.

"It's so much more easier to talk to you asleep. This way I can just let it out." He caressed her hair. "If you only understood who I really am - then you'd never love me. You wouldn't have fallen in love with me in the first place. Instead, you would've ran, and maybe, just maybe, that might've been the better thing to do, rather than you being here with me and suffering."

Arnav bent down and kissed Khushi's forehead. Khushi let out a sigh and snuggled again. Arnav carefully removed his hand and got up. When he was at the door, he looked back at her once more time, and then left.

Once the door shut, Khushi opened her eyes. Tears formed in her eyes and came flowing down. She slowly sat up, holding onto the sheets, and cried. Everything Arnav had just said, she had heard.

Khushi wiped her tears away. "I don't care what you did," she whispered to herself. "Be it that you faked your persona or something else, I know who I fell in love with - I fell in love with a man with a heart. It's just lost right now, I know it is. If you really claim that you're cruel and cold, you never would've came to check up on me." Khushi sniffled. "I will be strong," she said, wiping away her years. "I could never leave you - I will get my Arnav back, no matter what."

Khushi looked out to the city and went over to the window. The lights looked beautiful, shining radiantly, illuminating the skyline.

But is it right of me to stay, Khushi wondered. Will I be able to fight this... this weird... whatever it is, for him? His actions... they were so cruel.... The way he broke those glasses... it was just too cruel. And what he tried to do with me... what am I going to face?

*~*

It was around 9 AM when Arnav came down for breakfast. Etta was in the kitchen making breakfast, when he joined her.

"Khushi," he hollered.

Etta looked at Arnav and then looked away. Arnav found that somewhat weird, but he couldn't blame her. After the commotion created yesterday, it was obvious she heard a thing or two. But Etta knew him. Etta knew his ways, but she never said a thing - it wasn't any of her business. She was only there to tend to Arnav's care-taking, and she enjoyed doing so because she loved her job.

Khushi still hadn't came in, so Arnav called her out again. "Khushi!"

Etta turned to face him, wiping her hands with a small towel. "She's in the living room, Sir. I thought you knew."

Arnav scrunched his eyebrows. "No. Why?"

Before Etta could open her mouth, Arnav got up and decided to go check it out himself. When he entered the living room, he saw one of his workers talking to Khushi. 

The worker's eyes met Arnav's. "Oh! Good morning, Sir," he said as he stood up.

Khushi stood up as well, but she didn't look at him.

"I just came by to tell you of a party that's being hosted at the Hilton Hotel. By Rock-"

"Yes, I know where it is. Thank you."

The guy looked down, feeling slightly awkward and scared. "Um, the details have been sent in to you in an e-mail. I was just asked to come in and tell you just in case you didn't-"

"Well you've done your work. We will be going and since you've done your job, you can leave now," Arnav said, his eyes bold.

The guy gulped and nodded. He knew an order and that was more than an order - that was a demand. Every staff member knew the difference when Arnav Singh Raizada ordered, and when Arnav Singh Raizada demanded.

The guy left, shutting the doors behind him. The room was quiet, neither Arnav nor Khushi saying a thing. Khushi was silent and didn't want to say anything because she didn't want Arnav to know that she had heard what he had said to her last night. It just didn't seem like the right thing to do, especially since she didn't know how he might react.

But at the same time, she was also angry. What he did was wrong. 

Since Arnav wasn't saying anything, Khushi started to leave for the kitchen. She had only walked a few steps when Arnav reached out and held her wrist and pulled her to him. Their bodies collided, flesh against flesh. The two just looked at each other, not a peep coming out of the other's mouth.

Arnav felt uneasy. He had this feeling coursing within him ever since he had returned to his room last night. He wanted to say something - he really did. He could feel his stomach bloating up, his words trapped within. He wanted to let his words out - but he just couldn't, which was ridiculous!

If Arnav Singh Raizada wanted to say something, he would say it - no one could hold him back.

Khushi just waited, but Arnav said nothing. Annoyed, she pushed him away from her and went towards the kitchen. Arnav groaned inward and followed behind Khushi. When Khushi got to the kitchen, she went over to the island and looked at Etta.

"Etta, I'd like to go shopping today. Could you tell Nigel for me and have him get ready. I'd like to go now."

Etta just nodded and left the kitchen. When Etta stepped out of the room, Arnav went over to Khushi, who had gotten some OJ out of the fridge and was pouring some for herself.

Arnav took in a deep breath and let it all out. "Talk to me Khushi," he nearly whispered.

But Khushi said nothing and walked out of the kitchen with her OJ. Arnav groaned once more and followed behind her.

To be honest, he felt like a sick puppy who wanted it's owner's attention. 

He followed her up to "their" room and went into the dressing room. Khushi was drinking her OJ and was planning her outfit, while Arnav just looked at her. He was feeling very confused. One side of him was pissed, not liking her attitude whatsoever, and knew how to handle her very well. The other side just wanted to go over to her and ask for attention and to hear his apology. His mind was just a mess, as if someone had scrambled it up and had thrown it all over the place.

"Khushi talk to me," Arnav said.

This time, his anger got the best of him, his anger clear in his voice.

But Khushi ignored it.

Arnav's anger took total control and he went over to her and yanked her by her left arm and made her face him. "Talk to me dammit!"

Khushi just looked away, continuing to ignore him. Arnav didn't like her attitude whatsoever and pushed her back against the wall, causing Khushi to cry out in surprise. Arnav moved his body against hers so their chests were against each others. He dived in to her neck and began to nibble on it, which would usually turn her legs to jello. But today, she cried out, denying him completely. Arnav decided to soften it, by placing butterfly kisses, but Khushi still rebelled, trying to push him away. Arnav still wouldn't give up, so he thought of kissing her on her soft lips, which she loved oh so much. But when Arnav reached for her lips, Khushi turned away, making Arnav's heart pit. He just looked at her, not able to understand why his heart acted that way and especially why Khushi acted that way.

"Why did you turn away," he asked, his voice unbelievably small.

Khushi looked at him with anger crystal clear in her eyes. "Because I can," she stated strongly.

Arnav's heart stirred again, but he ignored it. "But I want you," he said.

"No, you don't," Khushi said and then she pushed him away from her, which he allowed her to do so. Khushi stood straight and looked him straight in the eyes. "You don't want me Arnav. You only want my body, that's it."

She stepped around him, grabbed her clothes and purse and headed out the room to her room, leaving Arnav there to wonder on her words.



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