Chapter Thirty

For Anysia - her post: http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3775308&PID=100692931&#p100692931

It was late night, almost 3 AM. Arnav had gone to bed at 11:30, after showering, and since then, Arnav couldn't fall asleep. His eyes were wide open, not an ounce of sleep in them. He just couldn't sleep. All Arnav could think of was Khushi. He was worried. He tried to convince himself that she was fine, but he couldn't accept it - he was just too worried about her.

Unable to sleep, Arnav got up and went out of his room. He headed downstairs to the middle floor and went to the library. Walking over to his desk, Arnav opened up the top drawer and got out a set of keys. They were the master keys and Arnav could open every single door.

Arnav headed across the conference room to Khushi's door. Finding the key to her room, he inserted the key and turned it. Quietly, he carefully opened the door. Inside, it was dark, lights from the skyscrapers peeking in through the windows. Khushi was asleep on her bed, wrapped in the sheets she had ran away in earlier. Arnav quietly walked over to her and carefully sat beside her, making sure to not wake her. Arnav reached out and brushed Khushi's hair aside and then cupped her face. He noticed the dry tear stains on her face and felt his heart clench, understanding that she had cried herself to sleep.

Arnav clenched his fists. Getting up, he went to the bathroom and found a small washcloth. He went over to the sink to wet it and then went back to Khushi. Carefully, he wiped her face clean, making sure she didn't wake up. As he cleaned her up, he couldn't help but to gaze at her.

She used to be a very chripy person, Arnav said in his head. Always bubbly and out-going. And now... now she's nothing. ... she's been hollowed out... because of me....

Arnav placed the washcloth on the bedside table and then used the hem of his navy blue t-shirt to dry her face. He noticed that her face was pale. Not deathly pale, but pale. There was absolutely no glow to her whatsoever. The blush on her cheeks had disappeared as well.

"This is all my fault," Arnav whispered aloud. "If you had never come into my life- or even if I had never come into your life, then this never would've happened. If I hadn't gone around and increased my interest in you, then none of this would've happened."

Khushi shifted and turned, resting her cheek on his hand, as she reached out and held his arm.

Arnav felt his heart twist and it hurt him. He remembered the times they had spent together and realized something big. Something very big, and something she didn't and needed to know.

"I've fooled you Khushi," he whispered. "I displayed myself completely wrong. I made you think... I've tricked you Khushi," he said, turning to her with pain in his eyes. "The man that you fell in love with... that's not me. I'm not... I'm not the man you think I am or who I showed you. I'm cruel. I'm harsh. I'm cold. I'm not the man you think I am. I'm much more different that - the complete opposite."

Khushi snuggled into his hand, making Arnav sigh.

"It's so much more easier to talk to you asleep. This way I can just let it out." He caressed her hair. "If you only understood who I really am - then you'd never love me. You wouldn't have fallen in love with me in the first place. Instead, you would've ran, and maybe, just maybe, that might've been the better thing to do, rather than you being here with me and suffering."

Arnav bent down and kissed Khushi's forehead. Khushi let out a sigh and snuggled again. Arnav carefully removed his hand and got up. When he was at the door, he looked back at her once more time, and then left.

Once the door shut, Khushi opened her eyes. Tears formed in her eyes and came flowing down. She slowly sat up, holding onto the sheets, and cried. Everything Arnav had just said, she had heard.

Khushi wiped her tears away. "I don't care what you did," she whispered to herself. "Be it that you faked your persona or something else, I know who I fell in love with - I fell in love with a man with a heart. It's just lost right now, I know it is. If you really claim that you're cruel and cold, you never would've came to check up on me." Khushi sniffled. "I will be strong," she said, wiping away her years. "I could never leave you - I will get my Arnav back, no matter what."

Khushi looked out to the city and went over to the window. The lights looked beautiful, shining radiantly, illuminating the skyline.

But is it right of me to stay, Khushi wondered. Will I be able to fight this... this weird... whatever it is, for him? His actions... they were so cruel.... The way he broke those glasses... it was just too cruel. And what he tried to do with me... what am I going to face?

*~*

It was around 9 AM when Arnav came down for breakfast. Etta was in the kitchen making breakfast, when he joined her.

"Khushi," he hollered.

Etta looked at Arnav and then looked away. Arnav found that somewhat weird, but he couldn't blame her. After the commotion created yesterday, it was obvious she heard a thing or two. But Etta knew him. Etta knew his ways, but she never said a thing - it wasn't any of her business. She was only there to tend to Arnav's care-taking, and she enjoyed doing so because she loved her job.

Khushi still hadn't came in, so Arnav called her out again. "Khushi!"

Etta turned to face him, wiping her hands with a small towel. "She's in the living room, Sir. I thought you knew."

Arnav scrunched his eyebrows. "No. Why?"

Before Etta could open her mouth, Arnav got up and decided to go check it out himself. When he entered the living room, he saw one of his workers talking to Khushi. 

The worker's eyes met Arnav's. "Oh! Good morning, Sir," he said as he stood up.

Khushi stood up as well, but she didn't look at him.

"I just came by to tell you of a party that's being hosted at the Hilton Hotel. By Rock-"

"Yes, I know where it is. Thank you."

The guy looked down, feeling slightly awkward and scared. "Um, the details have been sent in to you in an e-mail. I was just asked to come in and tell you just in case you didn't-"

"Well you've done your work. We will be going and since you've done your job, you can leave now," Arnav said, his eyes bold.

The guy gulped and nodded. He knew an order and that was more than an order - that was a demand. Every staff member knew the difference when Arnav Singh Raizada ordered, and when Arnav Singh Raizada demanded.

The guy left, shutting the doors behind him. The room was quiet, neither Arnav nor Khushi saying a thing. Khushi was silent and didn't want to say anything because she didn't want Arnav to know that she had heard what he had said to her last night. It just didn't seem like the right thing to do, especially since she didn't know how he might react.

But at the same time, she was also angry. What he did was wrong. 

Since Arnav wasn't saying anything, Khushi started to leave for the kitchen. She had only walked a few steps when Arnav reached out and held her wrist and pulled her to him. Their bodies collided, flesh against flesh. The two just looked at each other, not a peep coming out of the other's mouth.

Arnav felt uneasy. He had this feeling coursing within him ever since he had returned to his room last night. He wanted to say something - he really did. He could feel his stomach bloating up, his words trapped within. He wanted to let his words out - but he just couldn't, which was ridiculous!

If Arnav Singh Raizada wanted to say something, he would say it - no one could hold him back.

Khushi just waited, but Arnav said nothing. Annoyed, she pushed him away from her and went towards the kitchen. Arnav groaned inward and followed behind Khushi. When Khushi got to the kitchen, she went over to the island and looked at Etta.

"Etta, I'd like to go shopping today. Could you tell Nigel for me and have him get ready. I'd like to go now."

Etta just nodded and left the kitchen. When Etta stepped out of the room, Arnav went over to Khushi, who had gotten some OJ out of the fridge and was pouring some for herself.

Arnav took in a deep breath and let it all out. "Talk to me Khushi," he nearly whispered.

But Khushi said nothing and walked out of the kitchen with her OJ. Arnav groaned once more and followed behind her.

To be honest, he felt like a sick puppy who wanted it's owner's attention. 

He followed her up to "their" room and went into the dressing room. Khushi was drinking her OJ and was planning her outfit, while Arnav just looked at her. He was feeling very confused. One side of him was pissed, not liking her attitude whatsoever, and knew how to handle her very well. The other side just wanted to go over to her and ask for attention and to hear his apology. His mind was just a mess, as if someone had scrambled it up and had thrown it all over the place.

"Khushi talk to me," Arnav said.

This time, his anger got the best of him, his anger clear in his voice.

But Khushi ignored it.

Arnav's anger took total control and he went over to her and yanked her by her left arm and made her face him. "Talk to me dammit!"

Khushi just looked away, continuing to ignore him. Arnav didn't like her attitude whatsoever and pushed her back against the wall, causing Khushi to cry out in surprise. Arnav moved his body against hers so their chests were against each others. He dived in to her neck and began to nibble on it, which would usually turn her legs to jello. But today, she cried out, denying him completely. Arnav decided to soften it, by placing butterfly kisses, but Khushi still rebelled, trying to push him away. Arnav still wouldn't give up, so he thought of kissing her on her soft lips, which she loved oh so much. But when Arnav reached for her lips, Khushi turned away, making Arnav's heart pit. He just looked at her, not able to understand why his heart acted that way and especially why Khushi acted that way.

"Why did you turn away," he asked, his voice unbelievably small.

Khushi looked at him with anger crystal clear in her eyes. "Because I can," she stated strongly.

Arnav's heart stirred again, but he ignored it. "But I want you," he said.

"No, you don't," Khushi said and then she pushed him away from her, which he allowed her to do so. Khushi stood straight and looked him straight in the eyes. "You don't want me Arnav. You only want my body, that's it."

She stepped around him, grabbed her clothes and purse and headed out the room to her room, leaving Arnav there to wonder on her words.



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