Chapter Thirty

For Anysia - her post: http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3775308&PID=100692931&#p100692931

It was late night, almost 3 AM. Arnav had gone to bed at 11:30, after showering, and since then, Arnav couldn't fall asleep. His eyes were wide open, not an ounce of sleep in them. He just couldn't sleep. All Arnav could think of was Khushi. He was worried. He tried to convince himself that she was fine, but he couldn't accept it - he was just too worried about her.

Unable to sleep, Arnav got up and went out of his room. He headed downstairs to the middle floor and went to the library. Walking over to his desk, Arnav opened up the top drawer and got out a set of keys. They were the master keys and Arnav could open every single door.

Arnav headed across the conference room to Khushi's door. Finding the key to her room, he inserted the key and turned it. Quietly, he carefully opened the door. Inside, it was dark, lights from the skyscrapers peeking in through the windows. Khushi was asleep on her bed, wrapped in the sheets she had ran away in earlier. Arnav quietly walked over to her and carefully sat beside her, making sure to not wake her. Arnav reached out and brushed Khushi's hair aside and then cupped her face. He noticed the dry tear stains on her face and felt his heart clench, understanding that she had cried herself to sleep.

Arnav clenched his fists. Getting up, he went to the bathroom and found a small washcloth. He went over to the sink to wet it and then went back to Khushi. Carefully, he wiped her face clean, making sure she didn't wake up. As he cleaned her up, he couldn't help but to gaze at her.

She used to be a very chripy person, Arnav said in his head. Always bubbly and out-going. And now... now she's nothing. ... she's been hollowed out... because of me....

Arnav placed the washcloth on the bedside table and then used the hem of his navy blue t-shirt to dry her face. He noticed that her face was pale. Not deathly pale, but pale. There was absolutely no glow to her whatsoever. The blush on her cheeks had disappeared as well.

"This is all my fault," Arnav whispered aloud. "If you had never come into my life- or even if I had never come into your life, then this never would've happened. If I hadn't gone around and increased my interest in you, then none of this would've happened."

Khushi shifted and turned, resting her cheek on his hand, as she reached out and held his arm.

Arnav felt his heart twist and it hurt him. He remembered the times they had spent together and realized something big. Something very big, and something she didn't and needed to know.

"I've fooled you Khushi," he whispered. "I displayed myself completely wrong. I made you think... I've tricked you Khushi," he said, turning to her with pain in his eyes. "The man that you fell in love with... that's not me. I'm not... I'm not the man you think I am or who I showed you. I'm cruel. I'm harsh. I'm cold. I'm not the man you think I am. I'm much more different that - the complete opposite."

Khushi snuggled into his hand, making Arnav sigh.

"It's so much more easier to talk to you asleep. This way I can just let it out." He caressed her hair. "If you only understood who I really am - then you'd never love me. You wouldn't have fallen in love with me in the first place. Instead, you would've ran, and maybe, just maybe, that might've been the better thing to do, rather than you being here with me and suffering."

Arnav bent down and kissed Khushi's forehead. Khushi let out a sigh and snuggled again. Arnav carefully removed his hand and got up. When he was at the door, he looked back at her once more time, and then left.

Once the door shut, Khushi opened her eyes. Tears formed in her eyes and came flowing down. She slowly sat up, holding onto the sheets, and cried. Everything Arnav had just said, she had heard.

Khushi wiped her tears away. "I don't care what you did," she whispered to herself. "Be it that you faked your persona or something else, I know who I fell in love with - I fell in love with a man with a heart. It's just lost right now, I know it is. If you really claim that you're cruel and cold, you never would've came to check up on me." Khushi sniffled. "I will be strong," she said, wiping away her years. "I could never leave you - I will get my Arnav back, no matter what."

Khushi looked out to the city and went over to the window. The lights looked beautiful, shining radiantly, illuminating the skyline.

But is it right of me to stay, Khushi wondered. Will I be able to fight this... this weird... whatever it is, for him? His actions... they were so cruel.... The way he broke those glasses... it was just too cruel. And what he tried to do with me... what am I going to face?

*~*

It was around 9 AM when Arnav came down for breakfast. Etta was in the kitchen making breakfast, when he joined her.

"Khushi," he hollered.

Etta looked at Arnav and then looked away. Arnav found that somewhat weird, but he couldn't blame her. After the commotion created yesterday, it was obvious she heard a thing or two. But Etta knew him. Etta knew his ways, but she never said a thing - it wasn't any of her business. She was only there to tend to Arnav's care-taking, and she enjoyed doing so because she loved her job.

Khushi still hadn't came in, so Arnav called her out again. "Khushi!"

Etta turned to face him, wiping her hands with a small towel. "She's in the living room, Sir. I thought you knew."

Arnav scrunched his eyebrows. "No. Why?"

Before Etta could open her mouth, Arnav got up and decided to go check it out himself. When he entered the living room, he saw one of his workers talking to Khushi. 

The worker's eyes met Arnav's. "Oh! Good morning, Sir," he said as he stood up.

Khushi stood up as well, but she didn't look at him.

"I just came by to tell you of a party that's being hosted at the Hilton Hotel. By Rock-"

"Yes, I know where it is. Thank you."

The guy looked down, feeling slightly awkward and scared. "Um, the details have been sent in to you in an e-mail. I was just asked to come in and tell you just in case you didn't-"

"Well you've done your work. We will be going and since you've done your job, you can leave now," Arnav said, his eyes bold.

The guy gulped and nodded. He knew an order and that was more than an order - that was a demand. Every staff member knew the difference when Arnav Singh Raizada ordered, and when Arnav Singh Raizada demanded.

The guy left, shutting the doors behind him. The room was quiet, neither Arnav nor Khushi saying a thing. Khushi was silent and didn't want to say anything because she didn't want Arnav to know that she had heard what he had said to her last night. It just didn't seem like the right thing to do, especially since she didn't know how he might react.

But at the same time, she was also angry. What he did was wrong. 

Since Arnav wasn't saying anything, Khushi started to leave for the kitchen. She had only walked a few steps when Arnav reached out and held her wrist and pulled her to him. Their bodies collided, flesh against flesh. The two just looked at each other, not a peep coming out of the other's mouth.

Arnav felt uneasy. He had this feeling coursing within him ever since he had returned to his room last night. He wanted to say something - he really did. He could feel his stomach bloating up, his words trapped within. He wanted to let his words out - but he just couldn't, which was ridiculous!

If Arnav Singh Raizada wanted to say something, he would say it - no one could hold him back.

Khushi just waited, but Arnav said nothing. Annoyed, she pushed him away from her and went towards the kitchen. Arnav groaned inward and followed behind Khushi. When Khushi got to the kitchen, she went over to the island and looked at Etta.

"Etta, I'd like to go shopping today. Could you tell Nigel for me and have him get ready. I'd like to go now."

Etta just nodded and left the kitchen. When Etta stepped out of the room, Arnav went over to Khushi, who had gotten some OJ out of the fridge and was pouring some for herself.

Arnav took in a deep breath and let it all out. "Talk to me Khushi," he nearly whispered.

But Khushi said nothing and walked out of the kitchen with her OJ. Arnav groaned once more and followed behind her.

To be honest, he felt like a sick puppy who wanted it's owner's attention. 

He followed her up to "their" room and went into the dressing room. Khushi was drinking her OJ and was planning her outfit, while Arnav just looked at her. He was feeling very confused. One side of him was pissed, not liking her attitude whatsoever, and knew how to handle her very well. The other side just wanted to go over to her and ask for attention and to hear his apology. His mind was just a mess, as if someone had scrambled it up and had thrown it all over the place.

"Khushi talk to me," Arnav said.

This time, his anger got the best of him, his anger clear in his voice.

But Khushi ignored it.

Arnav's anger took total control and he went over to her and yanked her by her left arm and made her face him. "Talk to me dammit!"

Khushi just looked away, continuing to ignore him. Arnav didn't like her attitude whatsoever and pushed her back against the wall, causing Khushi to cry out in surprise. Arnav moved his body against hers so their chests were against each others. He dived in to her neck and began to nibble on it, which would usually turn her legs to jello. But today, she cried out, denying him completely. Arnav decided to soften it, by placing butterfly kisses, but Khushi still rebelled, trying to push him away. Arnav still wouldn't give up, so he thought of kissing her on her soft lips, which she loved oh so much. But when Arnav reached for her lips, Khushi turned away, making Arnav's heart pit. He just looked at her, not able to understand why his heart acted that way and especially why Khushi acted that way.

"Why did you turn away," he asked, his voice unbelievably small.

Khushi looked at him with anger crystal clear in her eyes. "Because I can," she stated strongly.

Arnav's heart stirred again, but he ignored it. "But I want you," he said.

"No, you don't," Khushi said and then she pushed him away from her, which he allowed her to do so. Khushi stood straight and looked him straight in the eyes. "You don't want me Arnav. You only want my body, that's it."

She stepped around him, grabbed her clothes and purse and headed out the room to her room, leaving Arnav there to wonder on her words.



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Till next time ;)

Chapter Twenty Nine

A few days passed after Khushi's revelation with Anjali. Each night, Arnav and Khushi would make love, holding each other in their arms, losing themselves to the other.

Arnav was at the office, sitting high above the city in his room. He had just finished some files on a current deal the company was making. Arnav leaned back in his chair and looked up at the high ceiling. It had hit him earlier that for the past few days, he hadn't been having any more of those nightmares. In fact, he was much more relaxed, something he hadn't been for a while. In fact, these past few days, he was sleeping like a baby.

He had also realized that he and Khushi were better than they had been for a while.

Arnav shut his eyes and thought back to the night before.

*Flashback*

*SLIGHT MATURE CONTENT*
"Arnav," Khushi moaned.

Arnav nuzzled the side of Khushi's face as he thrust. He held Khushi tightly, his arms wrapped around her waist to keep her body close to his. He could feel Khushi scratching his back, little bits of pain occurring. He knew that there were small faint scratches with blood seeping, but that wasn't going to stop him. He would pleasure her, no matter what, and he would do it to their satisfaction

Khushi shut her eyes and tossed her head back. "Arnav," she moaned.

Arnav kissed Khushi's throat, nuzzling it as well. He caught her lower lip with his teeth and pulled on it, causing Khushi to look back at him. He kissed her, his tongue exploring every corner of her mouth. Moving his hands up, Arnav cupped Khushi's head in his hands. He was about to drive Khushi crazy, so he moved up, leveling eye-to-eye, and began to thrust with all his might. Khushi gasped as she felt him slap onto her. Khushi's grip on Arnav's shoulders tightened, and Arnav knew it would leave marks, but he didn't care. He full-on thrusted deep into her, making Khushi cry out and clasp on tightly. Within seconds, both arrived to their brink and all sanity was lost as both screamed in deep passion, crying out the other's name as they collapsed.

Arnav looked up at Khushi and saw her smiling lightly at him. Arnav kissed her softly on her lips, making Khushi's smile become bigger.

Arnav, too, couldn't help himself, but to smile.

*End of Flashback*

Arnav liked how things were at the moment. He had this feeling going on within him, but he just couldn't figure out what it was. And the strangest thing of all was how his heart would act - it would beat fast, going:

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

But Arnav didn't understand why. He had never had these feelings before and it was pretty strange to him. He wondered if something was wrong with him, but the thing is, it only happened around Khushi. But why? And what is it? What's the reason?

Arnav's phone began to ring, snapping Arnav out of his reverie. He looked at it and saw that it was Anjali calling. 

Arnav took the call. "Hey Di."

"Hi Chote," she said softly with a low voice.

"Is everything okay," he asked, curious as to why his sister wasn't sounding like her usual bubbly self. 

"Yeah, everything's fine. How about you?"

"I'm good."

"... and Khushi?"

Arnav heard the nervousness in her voice. "She's fine. ... Why?"

"Um," she paused for a moment, "... you two are still together... right?"

"Yeah, but you didn't answer my question."

"Chote, please don't get mad-"

"Di, answer my question."

"Chote, I really trust her so I-"

"Answer. My. Question. Di."

Tears formed in Anjali's eyes and she regretted calling him in the first place. She didn't want to, but she had to know if things were okay between the two. She knew her Chote well enough and knew that even if something were to happen, he never would've told her. Not her, not to anyone.

Anjali took a deep breath. "I told Khushi everything."

Arnav's eyes widened. "What," he breathed.

"I told Khushi everything... about your nightmares, Ma-"

But Arnav didn't want to hear anymore, so he hung up on her. Anjali looked at her phone and couldn't hold back her tears anymore. She was in trouble, she knew it, but she had gotten Khushi in bigger trouble, and she couldn't help but to blame herself.

"What have I done," Anjali cried.

*~*

Khushi stood in the kitchen, making dinner. She had asked Etta to let her cook for the evening, and Etta had agreed, although she didn't feel comfortable, since it is her job to cook. Khushi had told her it was okay and that she'd tell Arnav. So Khushi had taken over the kitchen and she made dinner for the two. It was around 8:30 when Arnav had come home. Khushi had just gotten a bottle of wine from the wine cellar, Pinot Grigio to be exact, and she was feeling really bubbly. 

Why wouldn't she be after the spectacular night they spent ;-) The past few days were giving Khushi some hope that maybe, just maybe, Arnav might be returning to the ways he used to be. Just maybe. Even if it wasn't fully what he was, it was still good enough for Khushi.

Arnav came walking in, all suited up, his tie loosened, with the top two buttons undone. Khushi felt her insides melt and had to hold onto the island to support her so that she didn't collapse.

Khushi beamed at Arnav. "I made dinner! Your wish of me being your wench has come true," she teased.

Khushi got out two flute glasses and placed them down. 

"I even chose out the wine," she winked. "I went on Mr. Google to figure out what's what and what not, and decided to go with this," she said, holding up the bottle.

As Khushi poured the wine, Arnav just looked at her, just like he was doing all this time. His gaze did not drop from her once, nor did he even blink. The fact that she was in a cute black dress with lace sleeves, was most definitely not on his mind, because he had other things to deal with, other than her long, milky legs being on display and calling out to him, asking for his touch.

Arnav slowly walked over to Khushi, his gaze not falling for a moment. He walked around the island and just as Khushi finished pouring the wine, he had reached her. But as Khushi turned to face him, Arnav swept his arms out, throwing the glasses, the glasses falling and breaking into pieces. Khushi gaped at the glass and then looked at Arnav.

"Arnav what-"

"Why did you ask Di about everything," he asked in a cold voice.

Khushi scrunched her eyebrows. "What-"

"Why did you ask Di about the nightmares," Arnav roared.

Khushi flinched and her eyes widened. "I-I-I-I was curious and c-c-concerned and-"

"Do you think that I'm weak," Arnav hissed. "Now that you have answers from Di and what not."

"No! ...I only asked because I care-"

Arnav roughly pushed Khushi back against the island, making her shriek out in pain.

"Arnav stop! You're hurting me-"

"I don't give a fucking crap!!" Arnav pointed his finger at her. "Don't ever try to get involved with my life!!! You're no one to me so stay the fuck out of my life!!!"

Khushi froze. She felt her heart break and shatter into millions of pieces. She couldn't believe what she had heard. Tears formed in her eyes and came flowing down. Feeling completely broken, Khushi pushed Arnav out of the way and ran out of the kitchen crying, running upstairs into her old room on the middle floor and slammed the door shut, locking it. She went running to the corner of the room and sat there and cried, feeling her heart ache with a pain that was immense and indescribable. Khushi couldn't believe that the man she truly loved had actually said that she was nothing to him.

She felt completely empty and broken.

*~*

Half an hour or so had passed and Arnav was still in the kitchen. He hadn't even realized the time that had passed, but he just stood there fuming, slowly calming down as the minutes passed. He was lost in thought when his phone had buzzed and snapped him out of his reverie and he looked at his phone. It was an e-mail, but he was going to check it later. 

Arnav walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs. He noticed that all the other bedroom doors were opened, except for one. Going towards it, he knocked on the door.

"Khushi? Khushi are you in there?"

Nothing. Not a sound came out.

Arnav knocked louder this time. "Khushi? Open the door! I know you're in there! Come down to eat."

But there was no response.

Arnav banged his fist on the door, his temper rising, him completely in no mood to deal with anything at the moment. "Khushi, open the fucking door right now!"

Not a peep.

Arnav fumed. "Khushi, if you don't open this door right now, I will break it down!"

Nothing.

"I mean it Khushi! I'm going to count to ten and if this door doesn't open by the time I get to ten, I will break down the fucking door!"

There wasn't any response, and Arnav began to count out loud, giving some time before he said the next number. There wasn't a sound of movement or talk whatsoever from the other side of the door.

"Nine..." Arnav counted.

He gave more time this time before he reached ten, but the door didn't open. Arnav fumed and yelled 'ten', then kicked the door open. Arnav looked inside and saw that to his right, Khushi was sitting in the corner, tears streaming down her face, completely still. When Arnav had kicked the door open, it had indeed made a loud sound, but Khushi hadn't even flinched. She just sat there soundlessly, staring straight in front of her at the closet.

Arnav stormed over to her. "Get up," he said sternly.

Khushi said nothing and continued to stare straight.

Arnav's nostrils flared. "Did you not hear me?! Get the fuck up!"

No response again.

"Khushi, get the fuck up! If you don't then I will carry you, and you know I'll do it."

Khushi said nothing.

Arnav fumed and swooped down and picked her up. Khushi made no reaction and continued to stare straight. Her arms just hung as if she were lifeless. Arnav found her behavior strange, but said nothing. He walked out of the room and headed upstairs to their room, that is, if you can still call it as 'their' room.

Arnav deposited Khushi on the bed. Khushi just laid there lifelessly, staring straight up at the ceiling. Arnav didn’t like her actions, or non-actions in this case, whatsoever.

"Khushi stop acting like this and say something," Arnav boomed. "If you don't, then I will fuck you."

Khushi said nothing and continued to stare up at the ceiling. Tears were pooling in her eyes, her eyes red.

*MATURE CONTENT*
Arnav was pissed and grabbed her arm. He yanked her up, making Khushi's body clash against his. Khushi made no reaction and stayed completely still. Arnav reached behind and yanked her dress open, pulling the zipper apart. He pushed the dress off her shoulders and exposed her to him. As Arnav removed every trace of string off her body, Khushi stayed completely still, remaining lifeless.

Arnav began to nibble on her neck, his hand going through her hair and holding her head. He bent down to suckle her breasts, grasping her waist and pulling her closer to him. As Arnav continued with his doings, Khushi made no reactions, gestures, etc, whatsoever. Arnav realized that and his anger returned. He moved them back up against the wall and not waiting another second, he thrust into her, making Khushi cry out in pain. Arnav's thrusts were hard and Khushi was in complete pain, having no pleasure in this whatsoever. Tears came flowing out of Khushi's eyes as she cried, tolerating Arnav's harshness.

Arnav looked at Khushi and felt something stir inside him. Seeing Khushi's tears and pain created an unknown feeling in him. He lost his sexual urge and stopped, pulling out of her. Khushi pushed Arnav away from her as the tears became heavier and her sobs were louder. She grabbed the sheets off the bed, wrapped her body in it, and ran out of the room. She ran back downstairs to her old room and closed the door, surprisingly being able to lock it even after Arnav's actions.

Arnav just stood there and stared in the direction Khushi had run in. He couldn't believe what he had just done to her.

I don't get it, Arnav said in his head. I always used to do this. This is who I am. Then why... why am I feeling this way?

Arnav sat down on the bed and rested his head in his hands and groaned.

I don't understand why this is bothering me so much!!!! This isn't normal!!!! What I just did was something that I used to do! That was normal!!!! Then why...?

A feeling was stirring within Arnav, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make it go away.