Chapter Twenty Eight

Khushi sat down at a bench and looked out to the harbor. Khushi was in Battery Park, a place she would go to whenever she needed to think. Before, she would wonder why she would come to this place in particular. She would wonder why she loved this area so much. But after hearing what Anjali had told her, Khushi wondered if what Anjali was actually true.

*Flashback*

"I just knew at that point that you were a gift sent from my mother from up above."

*End of Flashback*

Khushi shut her eyes and then looked up at the sky. It was cold and cloudy, the sky dark. She saw the clouds moving and then she looked at the harbor. Khushi stood up and went towards the railing and leaned against it. As she saw the boats sailing about, Khushi went into thought.

Arnav truly did love his mother, didn't he, Khushi wondered. He sounded like a sweet little boy who could only think of his mother. Khushi smiled. A Mama's Boy. Khushi's smile faded. But after what happened to his mother.... Could that be it? Could that be the reason? Is Arnav scared to love? Is he scared that the one he loves so much will leave him? But he loves his sister enough that he would sacrifice the world for her! ... but he also is distant from her. He barely even mentions her! So could it really be that he is scared to love someone?

It must be. It must be that he's scared to love. He loved his mother so much, that when she passed away, he blamed himself. He loves his sister so much, that he keeps her away from him, living alone in another borough! 

And then a thought struck her head.

Could it be that... that Arnav loves me? Could he really? Is that why he acts so harsh with me?

Khushi thought to all the events that had happened between them.

Yes... yes, Arnav must love me. That's why he's been acting this way. He really truly must love me. At first, he might not have realized, but then... but when he did realize... he was scared. He was scared to loose one of his loved ones!

Khushi's heart fluttered.

Arnav loves me. He really does love me.

Khushi felt her heart thump.

Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!
Dhak-dhak! Dhak-dhak!

He loves me. Arnav loves me.

Khushi shut her eyes.

And I love you too, Arnav.

Khushi looked up at the skies and smiled. Realizing that Arnav loved her meant the world to Khushi. Although he had a very strange, peculiar way, Khushi was happy. Many girls may have ran away from his actions, but Khushi was strong and she didn't. And now, knowing why Arnav behaved the way he did, Khushi felt proud; she felt strong and was grateful that she never broke and had never left.

Khushi was so happy, she began to twirl around. There was a guy playing on his guitar and Khushi began to dance to it. Some people stopped and watched Khushi and when the music was over, Khushi did as well and realized what she had done. She blushed and curtsied slightly as everyone clapped. Khushi beamed brightly, when she noticed the time.

Oh no, she exclaimed in her head. I'm late! I better get going, and she dashed out of the park and headed home.

*~*

"Where the hell is Khushi," Arnav roared.

All of his workers flinched while looking down at the floor.

Arnav and the others were all in the gallery, all the workers lined up.

"Will someone answer the g*d-damn question," he boomed.

His workers continued to look down.

Arnav moved his hand through his hair. "It is your job to make sure of where she goes", Arnav boomed. He looked at his security. "You men are supposed to keep watch of surveillance and none of you don't even fucking know when she even fucking left!" Arnav looked at Nigel. "You didn't even take me to work today, so you should've at least gone with her!" And then Arnav looked at Etta. "You're always home, and you don't even have a clue when she left the doors?!"

They all gulped.

Just then the front doors opened. Arnav's head whipped to see the doors, as well as did the others'. As the doors opened, they revealed Khushi. Khushi looked up and saw everyone standing before her. She saw Arnav and knew by the look of his face that he was angry- no, pissed.

"Go back to your work," Arnav simply said, and everyone dispersed.

Etta went back to the kitchen and the others headed towards the doors. Khushi stepped around the small table in the middle of the foyer, giving the others space. Nigel was the last one to leave and he shut the door behind him. Once the door shut, Khushi looked up at Arnav. He still looked very angry, but it slowly went away, and he looked relaxed and relieved.

This is more than enough proof, Khushi said in her head, smiling in her head as well.

Arnav stormed over to Khushi and pulled her into a hug, surprising Khushi very much.

"Where were you," Arnav boomed. "Don't ever leave like that again!"

I must be right, Khushi thought.

Arnav was getting angry again and pulled away from her to look at her face. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Battery Park," Khushi replied softly.

"Why didn't you pick up your phone?! Do you know how many times I've been calling you?! You weren't picking up so I came home and you weren't fucking here!"

Khushi scrunched her eyebrows and took out her Galaxy Note 3. Arnav had upgraded her phone without even telling her, but he had all her stuff transferred into the new one. She took the phone out of her pocket and saw that it wouldn't turn on.

"It's dead," Khushi replied.

Arnav groaned and shut his eyes. When he opened them, Khushi could see his anger crystal clear. Then out of nowhere, Arnav grabbed her face and kissed her roughly, his fingers entangled in her hair. Khushi was still at first, knowing that he was really angry. But as the seconds passed, she could feel him softening slightly and began to kiss him back, holding onto his forearms.

Arnav broke away first and looked at her with a piercing gaze "You are coming to bed with me. NOW!"

Khushi nodded. "Okay."

Arnav was shocked. He couldn't believe that she had agreed with him so quickly. These days whenever he would tell her to come to bed with him, Khushi would refuse and then they would get into a fight. But today, she had easily said yes.

*SLIGHT MATURE CONTENT*
Arnav didn't waste anymore time thinking on it and took her with him, up to their room. Arnav was hell-bent over angry and he planned to fuck her. Once they came through the gallery, he harshly turned her around to face him and took her coat off and then pulled her top off. He dived his mouth straight to her breasts and began to bite them as he took her bra off. Khushi didn't rebel and Arnav took her whole breast in his mouth and sucked on them hard. Khushi moved her hands to his waistcoat and unbuttoned it, as well as his shirt, and then discarded them. She arched her breasts into his mouth as she moved her hands through his hair.

Arnav was feeling confused by her actions. Khushi never acted like this in these situations. Whenever Arnav would get angry and would tackle her with sex, she would cry out in pain from the harshness. But today, instead of doing the usual, she was being sensual.

Shaking his confusion out of his mind, he threw Khushi back on the bed, and assaulted her again. Instead of hearing her cry out, he heard her moan. Arnav's confusion returned and he was confused even more than before. Khushi could tell by his gestures that he was getting confused by her actions. Caressing his face, Khushi tilted his face up, making him look at her. Arnav looked into Khushi's eyes and Khushi looked into his. Arnav was so caught into her gaze, he didn't even realize that Khushi had turned them over and that now she was above him and that he was laying on the bed.

Khushi reached up and kissed Arnav's forehead softly, making Arnav close his eyes. She kissed his cheeks, his eyes, his nose, and his chin, lovingly. Arnav looked up at her as she lovingly caressed his cheek with her hand.

"I will never leave you Arnav," Khushi said softly. "Never, ever."

Arnav looked at her confusedly, his eyebrows scrunched. Khushi kissed him softly against his lips, taking Arnav and herself away from the world, making sweet, passionate love.

*~*

Both laid in bed exhausted, breathing heavily. Usually they would go for one round, but today, they had just completed their third round of making love.

One thing for sure, Arnav was still very much confused.

Khushi turned and wrapped her arm around Arnav and snuggled into him, sighing into his chest. Instinctively, yet confusedly, Arnav wrapped his arm around her waist and looked at her. Khushi was smiling lightly, her eyes closed, her completely relaxed.

"Khushi," Arnav said in his after-sex, raspy voice.

"Hmm?"

"Why did you say that?"

Khushi looked up into Arnav's eyes. She knew just what he was talking about.

"Because it's true," Khushi whispered, looking directly into his eyes.

Arnav just looked at her, and Khushi knew that he was looking into her eyes to see if she really meant it and that she wasn't lying.

Khushi moved her hand up to his hair and entangled her fingers in his hair as she moved up to be face-to-face with him. "I will never leave you," Khushi whispered against his lips. "Not now," she said, kissing the left corner of his lips, "not ever," and she kissed the right corner of his lips.

Arnav had his eyes shut as she said this. Hearing her say those words stirred something inside him. These days, he kept getting these fluttering feelings inside him. Not just now, but a few months now. That too, after a while since him and Khushi had gotten together.

Arnav looked at Khushi as she softly smiled at him. She kissed him on his forehead and then rested hers against his. Arnav groaned and turned her over and began to kiss Khushi lovingly and deeply. It was like a flood of emotions had erupted from him and were all being poured into his kiss. But it made no sense to Arnav. Him, Arnav Singh Raizada, was not an emotional man. He had locked those those things away since that incident had happened, and he refused to be weak. But now, after all these years, this woman who was now in his arms, had unlocked that part of him.

*MATURE CONTENT*
Arnav sat up on his knees, taking Khushi with him. Khushi had her legs wrapped around his waist, her arms wrapped around his neck, caressing his head. Arnav nuzzled Khushi's breasts and Khushi shuddered. Arnav needed her at that moment, so he quickly got out the fourth condom they'd be using that night, and placed it over his manhood. Khushi too couldn't wait any longer and once he rolled the condom over, Khushi placed her opening over him and allowed him to indulge himself within her. Both groaned to the pleasure they felt and moved together. Neither could take their eyes off the other until the pleasure built. Khushi's hold on Arnav tightened, as well as did Arnav's. He placed Khushi back down and continued to thrust.

"Aaah... Arnav," Khushi moaned.

Arnav moved his hands up and took Khushi's hands in his and moved them up above her head. He pinned them down with his fingers entangled with hers and kissed her neck.

"Arnav," Khushi whispered.

Arnav rested his forehead on Khushi's and looked at her, Khushi looking into his eyes as well as he slowly thrusted. Arnav leaned in and caught her lips with his and passionately kissed her. Khushi moaned softly as he kissed her, tightening her grip.

Arnav's thrusts quickened a bit, making Khushi moan slightly louder. Arnav buried his face within the crook of her neck and began to suck on her sweet flesh, kissing it and biting it, all the while, Khushi was moaning. She wrapped her legs around Arnav's waist and brought her hands down. She placed one hand through Arnav's hair and placed the other through his arm to hold his shoulder.

"Aaaah," Khushi moaned.

Arnav nuzzled her cheek.

"Hmmm... Arnav," she whispered.

Khushi's moans were getting louder, which meant Khushi was getting close. Arnav himself was getting closer and had increased the pace of his thrusts. But Arnav wanted them to come together, so as he felt Khushi nearing, he slowed down, making Khushi slightly calm down. He would continue steady, Khushi moaning lightly, and then slowly increase the pace. He did this a good three times when he felt himself about to cum.

"Aaaaah! Aaaah! Arnav.... mmmmmm!"

Arnav sat them up and Khushi rolled her hips to meet Arnav as he tilted his pelvis up to meet her. Both were breathing harshly and Khushi knew he was close. Khushi joined Arnav, both moving really fast, when Khushi hit the brink and tossed her head back.

"Arnav!!"

Arnav let out a harsh breath and grunted. "Khushi!!"

Khushi's head fell on Arnav's shoulder as if she were a rag doll. Her arms just hung to her sides, completely tired out. Arnav kissed Khushi's shoulder and laid her down. Khushi lazily looked up at Arnav and smiled softly. Arnav kissed her softly on her lips and then rested his head on her breasts, his favorite pillows. As Arnav caught his breath, Khushi roamed her fingers through Arnav's hair, soothing him from their just done deed. Eventually, both fell asleep in each others' arms, in complete bliss and pure love.

Chapter Twenty Seven

(Note: Back to present)

Khushi was sitting down at the table as Etta placed breakfast down. She placed Arnav’s coffee down and Khushi’s iced caramel latte as well. Khushi just sat there as she had flashbacks of their past. Within a few minutes, Arnav came in, dressed up and ready for work. The two ate quietly, no one saying a word.

Arnav finished his breakfast and whipped out his phone. He went through his contacts and dialed a number and left the room. Khushi finished up as well and went up to their room and got Arnav’s coat. Even though winter was ending, it was still pretty chilly outside. She found Arnav in the living room, going through a file and talking on the phone.

“I want all those files transferred and saved into the system,” Arnav said into the phone, and then hung up.

He placed the file down on the coffee table and turned to see Khushi holding his coat. She looked adorable in her knit, natural white sweater and black leggings, her hair up in a bun.

Example of Khushi's Outfit

Arnav went over to her and turned so that Khushi could put his coat on for him.

When Arnav faced her again, Khushi said “don’t stay out for too long. I know you have that lunch with the Russians, but try not to stay outside for too long. And don’t drink that ice cold water from your mini-fridge – you’ll get a sore throat.”

Khushi finished buttoning his coat and turned to leave, when Arnav stopped her. He held her from behind, his arms wound around her waist.

“How is it that you’re still here,” he muttered against her ear. “You’re such a strong girl Khushi.”

Khushi looked straight forward. “I’m being strong for the both of us.”

“Hmm….” He turned her around and cupped her face, looking at her for a few seconds and said “thank you.”

“For what,” Khushi asked confusedly.

“For last night.”

Of all the times that Khushi had soothed Arnav at night, this was the first time he had ever made any comment about it.

“You’re welcome,” Khushi replied, unsure of what else to say.

Arnav smiled lightly and kissed her for a good minute or so. He nuzzled her right cheek and said “see you in the evening,” and then pecked her cheek again and left.

Khushi stood still for a second and then went to the door. Arnav had just gotten into the elevator and when he saw her, he lightly smiled. Khushi smiled as well and gave a little wave before he completely disappeared, the doors closing and hiding his beautiful face. Khushi went back in and went towards the kitchen.

“It’s pretty cold today, isn’t it, “Etta said as Khushi came into the kitchen.

“Yeah, its chilly.”

“How about a nice cup of hot cocoa?”

“With marshmallows?”

“Done.”

Etta prepared the hot chocolate as Khushi sat at the island. Khushi felt really confused. She couldn’t understand what was going on at all. Well, of course, Arnav’s behavior just recently was different, but could it be because he’s starting to change?

Etta handed Khushi her hot chocolate and Khushi went off to the terrace and walked around the whole floor. As she sipped on her hot cocoa, Khushi went into thought.

Why is Arnav so complicated, she wondered. What could be the reason?

She took another sip of her cocoa.

I need to find out. In all this time, I haven't gotten a single answer! Where am I going wrong?!

And then it hit her.

There is a way to find out. ... And there's only one person I can get those answers from.

*~*

Taking the train down to Brooklyn, Khushi headed to her destination to talk to one specific person - Anjali. Anjali meant the world to Arnav and if Khushi was going to find answers, she would have to go to the main source, which was Anjali.

Getting a transfer, Khushi got on the bus and headed to Bay Ridge, one of the richest spots of Brooklyn, or so some say. Khushi gazed out the window, gazing at the houses. All the while, she just kept thinking of Arnav. Ever since she had started thinking of her's and Arnav's past, that was all she could think about. She soon arrived to her stop and got off the bus. She walked her way to the Raizada House and rang the bell.

"Who is it," a voice hollered.

The door opened, revealing Anjali.

"OMG! Khushi," Anjali exclaimed, and she hugged Khushi. "What are you doing here," she asked, pulling away. "I wish you told me you were coming," she pouted. "Then I would've made a feast for us!"

Khushi shyly shook her head. "Actually, it was just a last second thing."

Anjali scrunched her eyebrows. "You mean you came here for the heck of it?"

Khushi shook her head. "No, I didn't mean  it like that-"

Anjali giggled. "I'm just messing with you. So what's up?"

"Um... well, the thing is... there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

Anjali scrunched her eyebrows again. "About what?"

"... about Arnav," Khushi whispered.

Anjali's eyebrows shot up as her eyes slightly widened.

"... why does he act like the way he does?"

"Wha-what do you mean," Anjali asked, crossing her arms.

"Why does Arnav have those nightmares," Khushi asked softly.

Anjali's eyes widened, her eyes filled with fear.

Khushi reached out and held Anjali's hands. "Please, you have to tell me. Please Anjali, please tell me."

Anjali snapped from her trance and looked back at the house and then at Khushi. "Just wait here a minute."

Before Khushi could say anything, Anjali released herself and went back into the house, shutting the door. Khushi stood there for a few seconds, when the door opened again, revealing Anjali in her coat.

"Come with me," Anjali simply said.

*~*

Anjali had taken Khushi with her in her car, a BMW to be exact, and drove down to Brooklyn Bridge Park. Anjali got out without a word and Khushi followed. Anjali made her way to the benches and stood by the railing, gazing out to the city. She took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air of the city. Khushi just looked at Anjali as Anjali relaxed.

"My mother always loved this area," Anjali said. "Of course, Brooklyn Bridge Park didn't exist until recently. But before, my parents, Chote and I would go to Pier 17, right there, across the river in Manhattan," Anjali said, pointing at the small, red building. "Especially to Battery Park - my mother loved it so much, she would want to go every other week, though my father complained, saying that we should go to other places as well," she chuckled.

Khushi smiled lightly, liking that she was getting some information on Arnav's and Anjali's mother. Of course, Arnav had told her a little something about her before, but Khushi was always curious to know more.

Anjali looked at Khushi and Khushi's smile disappeared to Anjali's serious face. Khushi gulped as Anjali turned to her.

"Khushi, there's a reason why I brought you here," Anjali said.

Khushi scrunched her eyebrows.

"Chote and I don't usually talk about Ma that much. We keep it to ourselves. But the reason why I'm telling you a bit about her, is because I trust you. ... I also trust you enough to tell you about my Chote."

Khushi's eyes widened slightly to Anjali's revelation.

Anjali sat down at a bench behind them and gestured Khushi to sit down beside her. Khushi did so and looked at Anjali.

Anjali gazed out to the harbor. "Ma always had a deep connection to Chote. Chote loved her as well. He loved her very, very much. Sometimes, I would even get jealous of the bond," Anjali sightly chuckled.

Khushi smiled faintly.

"Chote was always hung onto Mumma. He was like a Mama's Boy," Anjali chukled. "She was all Chote could think of when we were little. For every holiday, he would always want to do something special for Ma. Like on Mother's Day, he would bug me into making breakfast for her, and then he'd tell her that he did it all, taking all the credit," she chuckled.

Khushi smiled.

"One time, for mother's day, Chote wanted to make a cake. I told him that he couldn't do the baking because he was young, so he decided to mix the cake batter. I was in the other room to keep Mumma distracted when we heard a clatter. We both went running in to see Chote completely covered in flour," she laughed.

Khushi couldn't help but to laugh as well.

"It was just hilarious! Poor Chote went into a fit and was crying ridiculously, saying that he ruined- no, destroyed, mother's day! The poor thing. The whole day, he had locked himself in his room! Ma kept asking if she could come in, but he refused. Finally, he had let her in and Ma soothed him, telling her that it was his love that mattered." She sighed. "Everything was perfect in our small world. But then...."

Khushi scrunched her eyebrows. "Then...?"

Anjali sighed and looked up at the clouds. "Mumma loved Papa very much - oh so very much! Chote would get jealous sometimes, but Ma would always tell him that she secretly loved him more," she smiled. "Anyways, Mumma really loved our father. He was her world, besides us that is. ... but then she found out that he was cheating on her."

Khushi's eyes widened. Arhat cheated on her, she wondered completely bewildered.

"Chote was still young.... He... he was going to Mumma's room and when he got there, he... he... saw Mumma hanging," and Anjali broke into tears.

Khushi looked at Anjali wide-eyed and in shock.

"I still remember Chote screaming that day, shrieking loudly and trying to help her. I came running in and I was in shock, but I had to run and help! I just had to! But it was too late and...."

Anjali covered her face as she cried, Khushi holding her shoulder as she shuddered with tears in her eyes, her throat closing as she felt a lump build in it.

Anjali sniffled and wiped her tears away. "When... when Mumma was cremated... Chote didn't allow Papa to do anything. Chote had completed all the rituals that day. As Mumma turned into ashes before our eyes, Chote was also turning to ashes. Only, while Mumma was becoming a pile of ashes, Chote was shedding a layer and was becoming a completely different person." Anjali sniffled. "He blamed himself that day. He blamed himself, saying that he couldn't do anything for our mother. He was supposed to be her biggest love, but he had let her down. Thinking that, a new thought developed in his head - that Mumma hadn't truly loved him enough like he had. And since then, he felt like it was his fault."

Khushi broke into tears as she heard what Anjali said. She had never expected to hear anything like this from her. Not ever! But to hear this made Khushi's heart pit.

"Since then, Chote's thoughts had changed. His feelings for Mumma had even changed. Soon, he... he began to hate Mumma," Anjali cried. "Him! My Chote! The one who was crazy for our mother... and he," and Anjali cried even more.

Khushi hugged Anjali as the two cried.

"I'm so sorry Anjali," Khushi said through her tears. "I had never expected such a big revelation. I'm so sorry for bringing this up. I never should've asked. By asking I've brought out such a miserable truth. If i was never curious.... If I'd never met your brother, then-"

"Shh, don't say that," Anjali said as she snapped away from Khushi. "You really are what your name says - happiness. Of all these years without Mumma, I have always seen my brother stiff. Ever since you came into his life, my brother has learned to smile again. He's learned to laugh, to enjoy! He's learned to live life again! And that's all because of you Khushi - only because of you. When I saw him smile at the navratri party, I knew-I just knew at that point that you were a gift sent from my mother from up above." Anjali caressed Khushi's face. "You really, truly are my Chote's happiness - Arnav's Khushi," she smiled as a tear flowed down her cheek

Khushi looked into Anjali's humble eyes, unsure of what to say.

Anjali gave her a hug. "Keep my brother happy Khushi. He's dealt with enough in his life, that too from a young age. Don't let him suffer anymore."

*~*

After the two ladies had recovered from their tears, they were ready to leave. Anjali offered to drop her off, but Khushi had decided to just take the train.

There was a place Khushi wanted to go to before going home.

Chapter Twenty Six

Arnav sat down in the living room and was tying his shoes on when I came in. We had just eaten breakfast, though breakfast was very quiet. Not once did Arnav say anything, nor even look at me. Could it be because of last night? But for which part? Whichever it was, I'm more concerned for his nightmare. I mean he looked so fragile last night, like he might break!

"Arnav," I began softly, "what did you dream of last night?"

Arnav looked up at me as he adjusted his shoe. I gulped, his expression boring through me.

He stood up and stood right in front of me. "Don't ever ask me that again," he nearly whispered. "Understood?"

I looked at him, confused. "I don't understand- I mean why?" I caressed his face with my hand, Arnav looking at it and then back at me. "I just want to help you," I said softly, looking into his eyes.

For a second, I can swear on it, he looked fragile. His expression had softened for a straight moment, but it went right back to his stern expression, but his eyes were the giveaway.

"No one can help me," he said, looking straight into my eyes.

My lips parted slightly as I scrunched my eyebrows, looking at him in confusion.

Arnav's eyes showed even more vulnerability. "No one has... nor will ever be able to."

He moved my hand away and walked out of the room and left the apartment, leaving me there to stand alone. What does he mean by that? No one can help him? I'm sure if he told someone his problems then he could be helped. But... he said no one has, which means... he told some people? But it didn't work? And what does he mean by "ever be able to"? Is it that bad of a thing?

I'm so confused.

But I'm not willing to give up. Maybe there's a reason why He up there brought me into his life - so that I can help him "recover" from this problem of his. And to be honest, I don't think what he said is true.

And whatever it is, I will find out.

Suddenly, I heard click-clack's and I turned to see... Kalavati?

She looked at me with a smirk and I just looked at her confusedly.

What was she even doing here?

Out of nowhere, she began to clap. "Wow. I must say, just simply wow," and she stopped clapping.

"What do you mean," I asked.

Kalavati leaned against the wall. "I just find it... funny. How you're trying to get to Arnav."

I scrunched my eyebrows.

She looked at me seriously. "Understand one thing - no one, and I mean no one, will be able to help Arnav," and she stood straight again.

"How do you know," I asked, crossing my arms.

She smirked lightly and looked at the floor, and then back at me. "I'm closer to him than you think," and she turned to leave.

I heard the doors shut, but I still stood there confused. What in the world does she mean? Closer to him than I think? And how does she know so much? I mean yeah, they're step-siblings, but he's not that close with her. Then... what?

*~*

Around 7:30, Arnav came home. He came straight up into the room and placed his briefcase. I was in the dressing room and came back through the bathroom. Going over to him I helped him take off his jacket. I moved in front of him, somewhat surprising him and began to unbutton his waistcoat. Arnav just looked at me as I began to remove it.

I could feel his warmth radiating off of his body. And his cologne... oh that smell of him.... I couldn't help myself but hug him, burying my face in his chest. I know it surprised Arnav somewhat because I felt him flinch. But he recovered in a split second and held me around my waist. We just stood there a few minutes, holding, feeling, and embracing each other. I could hear his heartbeat, running in that rhythm that it would always do when we're in those romantic moments. And I knew right there that my Arnav was back. Even if it was for that short moment, I knew my Arnav was here.

Pulling back, I caressed his face. Suddenly, the urge to kiss him built.

"Arnav-"

But before I could say anymore, Arnav covered my lips with his. There was hunger in his kiss and I knew that if we continued, then it would lead on to something else.

And if it led on to something else... I don't want him to be that controlling way.

I pulled away. "Arnav," I breathed.

"Yeah?"

He kissed me again, and I could tell he was in the mood. He didn't seem like he was going to be rough, but I had other things to worry about.

"Arnav... please," I asked, pulling away

But Arnav's mouth traveled along my neck and shoulder. I felt butterflies in my tummy, but I refused to crumble to his touch. I needed to find out what Kalavati meant.

I held onto his shirt above his abs and tried to pull him away. "Arnav- Arnav, please. I- I need to ask you something."

But Arnav held on tightly. "Please Khushi, just drop it."

I shook my head. "It's not about that."

This time Arnav did let go. "What do you mean?"

I noticed Arnav's tie somewhat wrinkled, and I refused to let that happen. I mean its an Armani tie! I quickly worked on it to remove it and Arnav knew my peeve over his stuff getting ruined.

"Um... actually," I began, "it has to do with Kalavati," I whispered in the end.

I felt Arnav stiffen at the sound of her name.

"What," he asked sternly.

"Kalavati said that nobody will ever be able to help you." I looked up at him as I placed the tie on the bed. "What does she mean?"

Arnav began to fume and I knew then that gone was the Arnav who was here a few minutes ago, being the passionate man I love. His eyes grew with fury and anger and by his expression, I could tell that he was trying to control himself from going over the edge. He shut his eyes and clenched his fists, his veins outlining on his skin.

"Khushi," and he opened his eyes, "don't ever, EVER, talk to that bitch again. Never ever again."

I scrunched my eyebrows. "But why? You're not-"

"I don't care! Just don't ever speak to her again." He turned to go to the bathroom, when he looked back at me. "It's for the best," and he left to take a shower.

What is it between him and Kalavati? Did the two get into a really big fight or something? Or is this really some step-sibling hatred?

*~*

Time went by, winter going away slowly and spring approaching. The snow was melting off the ground and rain was coming to take its place. But one thing for sure - the dark clouds remained. Not just in the skies, but above our heads. 

Constantly, Arnav and I would get into fights. It was becoming the usual between us. Arnav would argue and fight with me and then try to hurt me. He would return home at night and I would be sad and angry. Although Arnav never said it himself, I could tell by his expressions that he would get mad at himself as well, but he'd never admit it if I were to ask. But the outcome of our fights were always the same - every night, Arnav would cry out in his sleep and shout and tumble. He would wake up sweating and panting, looking scared to death. After that, I would give myself to him to comfort him. But it not only helped him, but it helped me because this was the only time Arnav was truly loving me. When we would have sex, it was more of the deed, like we were just fucking, but in darkness of night, love was always pure. 

At the end of it, I would always ask him what he dreamt of. But never would he tell me what he dreamt of. Never. But whatever it was, I was determined to find out.

Thinking of all that has happened between us still surprises me. How is it that I got this creature that is called a man? Not even. He was too beautiful to be called "man". I looked back up at him and looked at his angelic face, him asleep, breathing lightly against my forehead. I nuzzled his chest and held him tighter than before. Instinctively, Arnav's hold tightened as well, and I lightly smiled.

I will find out these dark parts to him.

No matter what.

Chapter Twenty Five

It was late night, around 1:30 AM. Arnav was busy in a meeting and it had finally ended and he just wanted to go home. Nigel drove him home and Arnav headed in and went up the elevator. He arrived to the 73rd floor and entered the penthouse.

Etta had heard and came in. "Sir, would you like your dinner now?"

Arnav shook his head. "No thanks, I'm not hungry. I'm just gonna head up and go to bed."

Etta nodded and left. Arnav headed up in the private elevator and went to the top floor. He entered his room and saw Khushi in bed, facing away from him. But Khushi wasn't asleep. She only had her eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. Khushi just couldn't fall asleep because she was waiting for him to come home, feeling restless until his presence was around.

Arnav headed to the bathroom and washed up, taking a quick shower. He went into the dressing room and got into his PJs and went back to the bedroom. He climbed into bed and got under the blanket.

Arnav turned towards Khushi and held her around her waist as he looked over her. "Khushi," he softly called out.

Khushi said nothing, continuing to pretend that she was asleep.

"Khushi, I know you're awake," he said softly.

It surprised Khushi how he knew that she was awake, but she made no physical reaction and kept her eyes shut.

Arnav got irritated. "Khushi cut the crap out and look at me when I'm calling you!"

Khushi snapped and got up and faced him. "I will get up if I want to get up and you can't order me! You can't control everyone and everything! So calm your balls down!!"

Arnav's temper rose as Khushi turned to lie back down again, when Arnav grabbed her arm and made her turn around. Khushi whipped right back around and Arnav moved his other hand up and entangled it in her hair so that she would look at him, and Khushi held herself from crying out in pain, pursing her lips.

"I can do as I please," Arnav said dangerously.

Khushi's chest heaved, feeling pain and being scared. "Why," Khushi asked boldly. "Because you had a fucked up past?"

Khushi knew it had to be that because nothing else would make sense of his problem.

Arnav looked at her with anger-filled, wide eyes. He tossed her back, yanking his hand out of her hair, hurting her in the process, making her cry out. He pinned her back against the bed, holding her wrists beside her head.

"Take back what you said," Arnav huffed.

Khushi looked him straight in the eye. "No."

*Slight Mature Content*
Arnav dived in to her neck and began to suck on it. Khushi screamed from the sudden move as Arnav moved his hands under her v-neck and squeezed her molds over her bra. Khushi did not like the sudden gestures at all screamed again. But Arnav didn't pay any mind to it and pushed her breasts out of her shirt and began to suck on them. He bit down on her swells, making Khushi cry out in pain. Khushi began to cry from the pain and her tears streamed down her face.

Arnav had moved to her neck and felt her tears. He let go and looked up and saw the tears streaming down her face as she looked at him. Arnav felt something in him, and he just couldn't see her in tears. He got up immediately and went out to the terrace, trying to figure out what the stir within him was. Khushi turned away and cried herself to sleep, unable to believe that he is the same man that she fell in love with.

*~*

It was around 4 in the morning when Khushi's sleep was disturbed. There was a sound of a scream and Khushi woke wide awake, breathing heavily. She felt Arnav behind her and turned to see him tossing and turning, mumbling something. His eyes were still shut and Khushi thought he must be having a nightmare.

"Arnav," Khushi called out.

She grabbed his arm and began to push him awake. Arnav was still tossing his head so Khushi caressed his face and patted his cheek.

"Arnav, wake up," Khushi said.

Arnav woke up, his eyes wide in fear and horror. He was covered in sweat, panting really hard. Khushi wiped the sweat off of his forehead and caressed his face again.

"Arnav, are you okay?"

Arnav looked at her and Khushi looked at him worriedly. He pulled her into a hug, turning them to her side, pushing her into the bed. He kissed her on her lips, all over her face, her neck and shoulders.

"Give yourself to me," Arnav said in a shaky voice. "Please."

Khushi entangled her fingers in his hair. She had never seen Arnav in such a state. He seemed so vulnerable, so weak. She couldn't stand the sight. She felt Arnav shake in her arms and she wanted to comfort him.

Khushi nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

*MATURE CONTENT*
Arnav groaned on her lips and kissed her hungrily. Khushi responded to his kiss and held onto him tightly. Arnav began to tug on the hem of Khushi's v-neck, so Khushi arched her back up and let Arnav take it off. She wasn't in her bra (because it's bad to sleep in it -> can cause breast cancer), so her top half was completely exposed to him. Arnav disposed his own shirt and pulled Khushi up so that she sat in his lap. Arnav looked into Khushi's eyes and Khushi looked into his, both breathing heavily. Arnav cupped Khushi's breasts in his hands and Khushi looked down at them. He brushed her nipples against his, making Khushi gasp at the contact.

"Arnav," Khushi whispered.

Arnav began to knead them, making Khushi throw her head back in pleasure. He placed fluttery kisses on her chest and Khushi held onto his hair. Arnav moved his hands down and began to tug on Khushi's PJs. He lifted her up and lowered them and then completely disposed them, along with her panties. Khushi helped him to get rid of his boxers and both sat there bare and naked.

Arnav needed things done fast, so he took out a condom and rolled it on. Once he did, he placed Khushi over him and both groaned in satisfaction. Arnav moved her along his member, loving the feeling of being within her. He placed her back on the bed and pumped in and out of her. Khushi's hands were on the sides of her head, Arnav's fingers entangled through hers. Arnav thrusted faster with each thrust as she felt her body clench around his member.

Khushi felt her climax coming. "Arnav," she moaned.

Arnav was also about to hit his high, so he thrusted faster. Within a few thrusts, both of them hit their peaks, Khushi moaning and Arnav grunting. Arnav gave three more thrusts and then pulled out and collapsed on her.

*~*

When everything began to clear around me, I realized that Arnav was lying on my stomach, breathing against it. He was sated and calm - really calm. Just a few minutes ago, he looked scared to death and now it was as if nothing happened. But what was it that he dreamt that caused him to get so scared?

I put my fingers through his hair, making Arnav flinch slightly. I guess he was stuck in thought as well. He moved his head along with my fingers and sighed peacefully against my stomach. He was definitely feeling comfort at the moment.

"Arnav," I whispered softly. "What did you dream of?"

Arnav looked up at me, a hint of fear in his eyes. He didn't say anything, but just looked away and then came off of me. He went back to his side of the bed and went to sleep. I just looked at him for a few moments, feeling confused.

What is it that he dreamt, that he can't even tell me?

Chapter Twenty Four

The city was shining brightly outside, as the lights of the skyscrapers illuminated the clear night sky. Snow was melting slightly, just like how my heart was. After Arnav's... actions, he had gone to the bathroom to wash up and take a shower. I laid still in bed, completely shocked. 

Just then, there was a knock at the door. It was Etta, saying that dinner was ready and I managed to get my voice back and said that I would be right down. Etta left and I got up and picked up my clothes from the floor. I looked at my bags and knew I would have to unpack them, so i went out and entered Arnav's walk-in closet from the other side and left everything in there.

Taking the private elevator down, i entered the kitchen. Etta had dinner ready and placed. I sat down and got my plate. I didn't eat, and just sat there quietly, zoned off, until Arnav came in. When he sat down and began to dig in, I did as well. We both were quiet and we just ate.

*~*

That night, I did sleep in Arnav's room. He had gone off to bed and had fallen asleep instantly. I just laid there, facing the other way, remembering back to how he had acted with me an hour or so ago. It was just to much of a surprise. I mean he had never acted like that before. Ever! He was always so loving and caring.... Not even just in bed, but as a person. And now hes....

A tear escaped my eyes and i quickly wiped it away and sniffled. Arnav turned slightly behind me and I quickly got up and went to the bathroom. I held onto the slab of the sink and looked in the mirror. Another tear had escaped, and I quickly wiped it away. 

I refuse to cry. I knew from the start that there was something about Arnav. Something secretive about him. I knew from the day i met him that he had some baggage, so I shouldn't break down now. 

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was down and weak, and I refused to be that. I've gone through problems before, and if I could hold myself up then, then I can do it now. I washed my face and dried it with one of the towels and stood up straight and strong. I will do whatever it takes to "cure" Arnav.

Even if that means his crazy fuckery.

And then the next morning... well....

*~*

(narrator takeover, since Khushi doesn't like talking about this part)

Arnav woke up and noticed that Khushi wasn't there. He got up and looked around the room but she wasn't there. Not even in the gallery or bathroom. 

She must've left, he said in his head.

After washing up, Arnav headed down and saw Khushi, making breakfast. Arnav looked at her confusedly. She was making breakfast? Even after what had happened the night before? She's still here? But....

Arnav leaned against the counter and watched Khushi. 

She doesn't seem to be in pain, he said in his head. 

"Khushi are you okay," he asked.

Khushi looked up. "Um... I feel... slightly sore...."

Arnav smirked. "Bound to happen," and he sat down at the table.

"You seem to know a lot about sex," Khushi said, not looking at him, placing his mug of coffee down.

Arnav chuckled as he took a sip. "A lot is an understatement."

Khushi came around and placed Arnav's breakfast down. Arnav began to eat and Khushi drank some OJ. Khushi wanted to ask something, but didn't know if she should. In the end, she decided to.

"So what were your past relationships like," Khushi asked.

Arnav stopped his mug from reaching his lips halfway. He looked up at Khushi. "Do you really wanna know?"

Khushi nodded.

Arnav placed his mug down. "Well... I used to have wild sex. I would... go all out, and the girls did the same, that is, if I told them to."

Khushi was beginning to regret asking her question.

"And if I were stressed," he continued, "I would need sex immediately to let it out. So, if I needed to, I would pay for it."

"But why do you do it," Khushi asked, looking up at him.

Arnav's expression fell. "You don't need to know, "he simply said, yet with a coldness to his voice.

But Khushi didn't hear it. "I don't understand; why not?"

Arnav stood up abruptly, surprising Khushi, making her stand up. "Do you not understand English," Arnav asked, approaching her like a predator approaches its prey. "You don't need to fucking know!"

Khushi was near the island. "But why?"

*Mature Content*

Arnav got mad and pushed her harshly back against the island. 

"Ah! Arnav-"

"Listen to me, and listen to me very carefully Ms. Khushi Kumari Gupta..."

Khushi looked up at him wide eyed, really scared by the evil stare he was giving her.

"Do not ask why when I told you not to ask. If you continue to go against what I say, then I will fuck you every time you ask."

Yet for some reason, Khushi ignored it.

"Why," Khushi whispered.

And Arnav's temper rose even more. He picked Khushi up and laid her back on the island. Khushi yelped in surprise and was about to sit up, when she felt Arnav shove her skirt up.

"Arnav what are you-?"

Khushi could say no more because Arnav dived his mouth right in to that spot, making Khushi yelp.

"Ah! Arnav, stop please," Khushi exclaimed.

But Arnav didn't listen and continued for his own pleasure, Khushi still screaming, though she had gotten lost in pleasure, cursing herself for being responsive. She grabbed onto his hair tightly and fisted it, but Arnav didn't stop. When he felt her getting wet, he entered his finger, making Khushi yelp once more. 

Arnav came up and looked at Khushi, while still moving his finger in and out of her. "Don't ever ask me again," he breathed, and put in another finger. "Is that understood?"

Khushi was about to hit her climax and just as she was about to, Arnav withdrew and left her, walking out of the room. 

*~*

I gasped for air, my eyes wide and I stared up at the ceiling. My breath choked up in my throat as I heard Arnav on the phone as he looked through one of the closets. His voice became smaller and smaller, and I heard the door being slammed shut. At the sound of it, I snapped back to earth and quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. I shut the lid of the toilet seat and sat on top of it. Within seconds, tears broke free and I cried, covering my face with my hands. 

What happened?! What happened to the Arnav I met?! What happened to the Arnav I knew?! Why is this happening?! Why is he like this?! 

I cried even more and I don't even know how long I was in there. But I knew it must've been sometime because Etta had knocked on the door and asked if I was okay.

I wiped my tears away. "I'd like to be alone," I simply said.

"Okay," and she left.

I got up and washed up. I splashed water on my face and looked up at my reflection. My eyes were puffy and red, my face expressionless. I turned to wipe my face with the towel and quickly got out of the bathroom, walking straight past Etta. I went up to our room and locked the door and sat on the bed.

As i sat on the bed, I realized that there must be something to it. And I'm positive of it because a man cannot go from full-hearted to... an animal. There must be something to why Arnav does what he does. 

And I will find out.

Chapter Twenty Three

I stood up at that moment, surprising Arnav by my sudden move. I walked right up and out the room and headed towards the stairs. I went right up to my room and threw Arnav's overcoat and suit jacket, which were still in my hands. I went in to the walk-in closet and got all my stuff out and began to pack. As I packed, Arnav came in and watched me as I packed.

Arnav scoffed lightly. "I told you, you wouldn't be able to stay here," he said, crossing his arms, leaning against the door.

I ignored Arnav and continued to pack. As soon as I was done, I grabbed two duffel bags and headed out. I noticed Arnav go in and get two more and came behind me, but I didn't care. I headed towards the stairs and went upstairs.

"What the?! Khushi what are you-"

But I didn't care to listen to what he had to say and walked into the gallery and into Arnav's room, and set my bags down. I went back out into the hallway and found Arnav fuming, looking at me wide-eyed. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him.

"Khushi, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I ignored and just as he was about to repeat his question, Etta came up with a handful of towels in her hands.

"Etta," I called out, and Arnav released me, since he didn't know she was behind him.

"Yes Khushi," she asked.

"Could you help me move my bags up here? I'm moving into Arnav's room."

Etta nodded. "Okay," she said, glancing at Arnav quickly, and then looking back at me.

I walked away from Arnav and headed down to my room. I noticed that Arnav had left the bags he was holding right at the bottom of the stairs.

Shaking my head.

I told Etta to take those, and I went back to my room and got the others. Within five minutes, all my stuff was moved in and I thanked Etta, and she left to start on dinner.

I went to open my bags, when Arnav came in and turned me around.

"Khushi, are you even thinking-?!"

"Look Arnav - I don't care anymore. I am staying in this room, no matter what."

Arnav looked at me furiously, his eyes tensed and slightly wide, filled with anger. "You need to go. Now Khushi."

"No."

"Khushi, I am warning you right now: if you stay, then I will act like the way that I used to."

"I don't care."

Arnav fumed, his chest heaving. I just looked at him, prepared for what he was going to say next. But instead, he did something. Arnav pushed me back and I went falling back right onto his bed. Before I could even say anything, Arnav came over me and kissed me wildly.

Arnav pulled away first. "Khushi, I'm warning you, things will go far and you will get hurt."

I looked straight into his eyes with full confidence. "I. Don't. Care."

*Mature Content
Arnav didn't say anything, but he looked like he gave up the argument, and kissed me harshly. I tried to calm him down, but I had no control whatsoever. He was kissing me harshly and was sucking and biting my neck harshly as well.

"Arnav please," I gasped.

Arnav brought us up and removed my cardigan and t-shirt. I tried to say something, but he covered my lips with his as he unhooked my bra. He traveled down my throat and pulled on the skin there, and it hurt! He moved to the crook of my neck and continued his business as I tried to say something, but I kept getting distracted and kept moaning.

Out of nowhere, Arnav placed me back down and pulled my leggings and panty down.

"Arnav-"

Arnav disposed of all of my clothes onto the floor and picked me back up and placed me on his lap.

"Arn-"

Arnav covered my mouth with his again and I felt him move his hand around underneath me. At the sound of unzipping, I knew he was opening up his pants. Arnav broke away from me and I was left without any breath. I gasped for air, as he lowered his pants and boxers.

"Arnav-"

I felt Arnav move his manhood beneath me and I gasped. Ever since the confession, we haven't had sex, and it has been weeks, and this is not good. The minute he touched me down there, all that sexual desire that was stowed away, came right back and bloomed right on!

Arnav must've figured out that I was turned on, because he smirked his sexy smirk at me. He rubbed the tip of his manhood on my entrance and I moaned, grabbing onto his hair tightly, getting a little hiss out of him. He rubbed it against my clit, and I really couldn't think at that point anymore. This was wrong, but it felt so right!

"Arnav," I moaned.

I was so lost, I didn't even realize that Arnav had gotten a condom out and had rolled it on. But as I slowly came down, Arnav entered me, making me moan really loud. And then things went completely out of my hands. Arnav held my waist tightly, his nails digging into my skin, as he moved me up and down on him. I held onto his shoulders tightly, digging my nails in, for control, but I had no chance.

As the thrusts continued, I felt myself build. I grabbed onto his hair tightly, wanting him to continue so I could reach, but right at that moment, he stopped. He pulled out and laid me down, making me lose my high.

"Arnav," I mewled.

Arnav stroked his hands on my inner thighs, making me close my eyes and throw my head back due to the sensitivity. Arnav came above me again and entered me again, making me moan out loud again. His hands were right beside my head and he full-on thrusted. I held onto his forearms tightly, trying to get his rhythm, but I just couldn't because he was pumping really fast.

"Arnav," I moaned really loud.

I was reaching my high again, and again, just at that moment, he pulled out, leaving me empty and flabbergasted. I gulped down some air, my chest heaving insanely, and lost the feeling again. Arnav smirked at me devilishly and turned me over so that I was on my front. I tried to pick myself up, but Arnav pushed me back down, making me cry out in surprise. Moving my knees up, my butt tooched up in the air, he entered me again harshly. I cried out slightly, but Arnav didn't pay any mind to it, and continued to thrust.

"Arnav please," I cried.

But Arnav didn't stop, and held onto my hair tightly and thrusted faster. His thrusts went faster each and every time and I couldn't take it any longer and shattered crying out in a guttural moan. Arnav grunted and shattered as well, crying out next to my ear.

Arnav pulled out and laid beside me, breathing harshly for air. I tried to gather my strength, but only had a little in me. But I managed to get enough, so that I could slightly pick myself up and looked at Arnav. He was still in his shirt and tie, his pants just lowered. And me? I had nothing on me, completely bare... naked... used for his satisfaction... used for his pleasure... completely controlled by Arnav.

Chapter Twenty Two

As the weeks passed, we continued with his schedule. Wake up, go to school, work, and then home. But one thing I've learned is that Arnav is a very hard-working man. He runs the company on his own, having no board men to depend on. He does his best to keep his company stable at the top and with the harsh attitude he can have, it is just a shocker that a man at his age is capable of being this successful.

But there was seriously nothing wrong at all. I thought when he was going to make me follow his schedule, he would show me some crazy stuff he would do, but he doesn't do anything out of the ordinary. Well, that is, if you count a young adult running his company ordinary.

It was the Friday and I was standing at the terrace, drinking hot cocoa, enjoying the breeze. Winter was ending and Spring would come soon. When Central Park is covered in snow, it is just beautiful!

But it seemed like Mother Nature just wanted to let it snow right before Winter ended.

Arnav had gone for a lunch meeting with the Japanese. The whole thing with the Malaysians was done with, and now Arnav was involved with the Japs.

It seems like he has a lot of interest with the Asians.

More interest in them than with me.... Ever since the revelation, Arnav has slowly pushed me away from him. At first I didn't realize because I was puzzled by his actions, but now its crystal clear.

But I won't break so easily.

The doors opened and in came Arnav in his black overcoat.

My goodness, did he look yummy or what? And especially with his snappy Armani suit beneath?

Drooling!

"Welcome home," I said as he took his overcoat off.

He smiled slightly, more like curved the corner of his lips slightly.

"How'd the lunch go?"

"Good. I think it's going somewhere. If it does then that's great."

I nodded and placed my mug down on the coffee table and picked up Arnav's overcoat and took his suit jacket, which he just took off. I turned to walk away, when Arnav spoke.

"You don't have to do that."

I looked at him. "But I want to."

Arnav just shrugged and sat down on the sofa and took his BlackBerry out, which was his work phone. Seriously, how many phones does a person need? Then again for a guy like Arnav... understandable.

"You know Arnav," I said as I stood there, "there's nothing wrong to it."

"Wrong to what," he asked, not looking up from his phone.

"Your life."

Arnav looked up at me.

"I mean, you're a big man, being in charge of his own corporation, but... I mean everything seems normal," I shrugged nonchalantly.

Arnav stood up. "That's because it's nothing," Arnav said as he came over to me.

"But i don't care. I accept you the way you are," I said, looking into his eyes.

"That's because you don't entirely know me like that."

"I don't care."

"But I do."

We just looked at each other for a moment, seconds passing us by. But Arnav broke the contact and looked away first. He sat me down on the sofa and sat down beside me.

"Khushi," he began, "you don't know me like that. You don't know anything about me, anything about my past."

"So?"

Arnav sighed and looked down and then back at me. "How about I start off telling you about my past relationships."

Past relationships?

"Khushi, I've had about 23 women in my life..."

My eyes widened.

"... and that's not including you."

Twenty three? That too without me? B-b-but... I mean, he didn't have physical- sexual, relationships... did he?

"And I've had sex with them," Arnav continued.

My lips parted.

"With each and every single one of them."

I closed my mouth and looked away at the coffee table.

All twenty three?

"I would have sex with them as a stress relief," Arnav said. "Whether or whether not they wanted to."

"But... isn't that rape," I asked, looking back at him.

"Well... they agreed to it. They knew what I wanted and what my conditions were, so they knew better."

"Oh," and i looked away again.

"And if they denied, then I would go to a club."

"Why?"

"For sex. I'd just go to a club, hire someone good looking off one of the poles and basically fuck."

I felt a lump in my throat, but I did my best to swallow it down. "That sounds kinda harsh," I managed to say.

"That's my point." He sighed slightly. "Khushi, this is my point - you don't know me like that. But... ever since you came into my life, I've changed. I stopped doing pot without even realizing it. I don't go to clubs and fuck with prostitutes. I don't even have sex as a stress relief."

"But that's the thing," I said, looking back at him. "You don't do any of those stuffs anymore. You're saying it yourself that you've changed. So why can't I love you?"

"Khushi..." Arnav looked away and sighed in frustration. "you just wouldn't understand how fucked up my life is."

"But I don't care!"

"But I do!"

Both of us just looked at each other, both of our chests heaving as we puffed. I can't believe Arnav is acting like this. I mean you're saying it yourself that you've changed so what else could there be? Yeah, I admit that what you did before was fucked and freaky, but seriously? I mean....

That's it. I've had it.

Chapter Twenty One

After I moved in, that was all that happened that day. Arnav had left to do something for work, leaving me all alone at the penthouse. Arnav came back in time for dinner and we ate quietly at the table. Arnav didn't say a word to me, and I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. Once we finished, he simply said good night and left for bed. I didn't even get to say 'good night' back to him!

I just don't get why he has this change in character. I really don't.

*~*

The next day, i woke up early since we had school. At first, i was clueless that i was at Arnav's place, when Etta knocked at my door to check if i was awake. I quickly got up and washed up. I went down to the kitchen and saw Arnav at the table with his breakfast in front, newspaper in hand. He wasn't even eating and he was busy reading his newspaper.

"Good morning Khushi," Etta smiled.

"Good morning," I lightly smiled.

Arnav looked up from his newspaper. "Good morning. Have a seat."

At least he said good morning. I sat down beside Arnav and he went back to his newspaper.

"What would you like for breakfast, dear," Etta asked.

"Cereal's fine."

"Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

"Yes, please."

Etta made me my bowl and placed it in front of me. Seriously, i don't think i'll ever get over the fact that whenever I'm here, someone always makes food for me.

I began my breakfast and looked at Arnav. He continued to read the paper and then finally put it down. He began his breakfast and then he looked at me.

"Starting today, you'll go along with my schedule," Arnav said.

I nodded. "Okay."

Arnav said no more and then finshed his breakfast. He got up and told me to get ready and i did. I wore a red knit sweater and khaki colored skinny jeans, along with my black combat boots. Arnav had told me to meet him in the library, which was right across from my room. When i went in, I saw Arnav sitting at his desk, doing some final work/homework. 

"Ready," Arnav asked as he put his stuff away.

He didn't even care to look at me =/

"Yeah."

"Good."

We headed out after that and spent the day in school. He went on with his day and i went on with mine. Lavanya did feel a bit weird about my attitude, but i did my best to not let her know anything, which she ended up letting go of. The day went on completely fine and as i sat in Business Administration, I couldn't help but to remember those days when Arnav used to be in the class. The memories nearly brought tears to my eyes, but i controlled myself and held them back.

After school, I met Arnav at the parking lot. He simply pecked me on my cheek and held the car door open for me. With nothing to say, although i wanted to say something about the peck, I just sat inside and Arnav went around and sat in. He pulled off and I looked at Arnav.

"Where are we going now," I asked.

'To work."

"Oh."

I didn't pay attention to where we were going, but I knew we were somewhere in Rockefeller Center because I saw Halal Guys (yum!). Arnav pulled up to the front of a building and the guy in the front came up to us. Arnav came out and tossed the keys to him as he came around to open the door for me. 

"Park it," Arnav simply said to the guy, and he went in.

I quickly followed Arnav in and just gaped. Inside was just simply beautiful! It was just like how the apartment was themed. I'm guessing he got the same interior decorator?

Arnav went to the reception desk and the woman that sat there stood up immediately. 

"Good afternoon Sir," she gulped.

She looked really pretty. She had her blonde hair up in a bun, wearing a white blouse, gray vest and gray pants. Her makeup was done nicely her eyes well defined by the eyeliner and her lips were blazing red.

"Afternoon," Arnav said. "This is Khushi, my girlfriend."

The girl looked at me in shock and then quickly recovered.

Hmph, like I didn't notice right? Just like how I didn't notice you eyeing my man hmm?

"She's going to be here very often, so i don't want any problems when she comes in. Understood?"

The girl nodded. "Yes Sir."

"Good."

Arnav began to walk and I followed behind. He went to the elevators and called one and we got in. It went up to the top floor and we came out. 

"Wow," was all I could say.

The minute the elevator doors opened, it revealed the whole floor, it only being Arnav's. At first you'll see tinted glass walls. plants placed equally distanced apart, and then you go past to doors and into his lair. As Arnav headed to his desk, I just gaped at the room, looking around, making a full 360 turn. 

"Its so big," I gasped.

"Yeah," Arnav casually said.

I went over to his desk as Arnav began to work on his laptop.

"So what exactly am I supposed to do," I asked.

Arnav looked up at me and leaned back in his leather chair. He looked me up and down for a second and I looked at him curiously.

"What," I questioned.

Arnav shook his head. "Nothing... just... imagining."

"Imagining?"

"Yup. Anyways, you can sit around at the sofa there," Arnav said, nodding his head at the sofas with the coffee table in the middle. "Do your assignments if you want, relax. If you need anything, my PA will get it."

"Um... okay."

"Good. Anything else?"

"Why are you avoiding me," I asked softly.

Arnav looked away and then back at me. "Anything else that I'll answer?"

"I love you."

"I hope not."

My eyes widened slightly, but I quickly looked away. I went over to the sofa and laid back and got out my assignments and worked on them. The entire time we were there, all Arnav did was work. Be it office work or school work, he was busy. His PA came up now and then and would give him paperwork, as well as other workers came up. Arnav was constantly on the phone, talking to people in the country and out of the country.

We stayed practically the whole day. It was around 7 when he decided to go home and when we got home, he finished up with his assignments which were due tomorrow. He worked in the library and even though he was across the hall from me, I didn't want to bother him since he was so busy. It surprises me how he managed to make time out for me all this time we've been together. But then again, I think it could be the Malaysians since it really is a big deal.

Sigh... deal.... Him and the deals....

Arnav's Penthouse

Sorry, I should've posted this ages ago, but for some reason i didn't *guilty* =D

So here are the floor layouts of the penthouse:

Guest Apartment

Bottom Floor

Middle Floor

Top Floor

Chapter Twenty

Fine then," Arnav said, putting his hands in his pockets, his head tilted. "I'll make you a deal."

"A-a deal? Wha-what do you mean?"

Arnav approached me casually. "Khushi, even though we've been going out for all this time, you still don't really know me?"

"What-?"

"So I'm giving you the chance to."

"What do you mean?"

He took a deep breath and then let his shoulders loose. "Move in with me."

My eyes widened and I just blinked at him. "What?"

"I want you to move in with me. That way you'll get to know how and who I really am."

What? This makes no sense. In all this time we've been together, I think I know my Arnav really well. I knew a lot about him before we even went out! So why is he saying this? ... Could this be some of the baggage he keeps hidden? Like the whole thing with his mom? Could his mom be a part of this? Does his past have anything to do with this?

Whatever it is, I'm willing to find out in whatever way possible. I knew from the start that there was something mysterious to Arnav, so I'm not going to back away now.

"Fine," I said.

Arnav's proud expression dropped to confusion. "What?"

"I'll move in with you," I said, crossing my arms and tilting my head, reflecting him.

Arnav looked at me seriously. "I'm warning you Khushi - I have a lot baggage."

'I don't care," I said softly.

*~*

After agreeing to Arnav's terms, he left me alone in the room. Soon a few of his men came inside and Arnav reappeared as well. He told them to take me home, though I said I wouldn't, but he ignored me. He told his men to take me to my place so that I could pick up my necessities and move in with him. It somewhat surprised me by his coolness, as well as his attitude, but I didn't say anything. I understood from that point that he would be willing to do anything to make me back away and withdraw my love, but I won't break so easily.

One of his men drove me home, since Nigel was off to do something else, and the other two went out to do who knows what for Arnav. The minute I got back inside my place, I just looked around it. Suddenly my small apartment didn't look so small anymore. Taking a deep breath, I went into my room and packed up my stuff. I took all my clothes and put them in my luggage and every duffel bag I owned, not leaving anything behind.

Once I was done packing, I headed back down to find Arnav's guy still there.

Dayum.

He helped me put the stuff in the trunk, but there wasn't enough space.

No wonder my closet was congested.

Soon another car came up, revealing one of the other two guys. He put the bags in the trunk, as well as the back seats. I went in on the first car and we drove back to the CitySpire. The third guy was waiting at the bottom and grabbed the luggage and headed to the elevator. The other two got two duffel bags each, leaving one more. The guy who drove me was about to get it, but I gestured him to stop by putting my hand up, then grabbed the duffel bag and swung it over my shoulder and headed to the elevator, but I think swinging it was a bad job because it's so heavy!!

We went up and entered the penthouse. Arnav was in the living room, texting on his phone when we came in. When he saw us, he got up and put his phone away.

"Follow me," he simply said.

I nodded and followed behind him, his men following behind. As I followed him, I couldn't help but to think of his attitude. In one day, he went from such a sweetheart to... to this. I just don't get it but... it doesn’t matter to me.

We came up to the middle floor and Arnav headed towards a room.

Wait, why are we-?

"This is going to be your room," Arnav said.

The men put my stuff down on the bed and Arnav nodded his head once, dismissing them. I just looked at Arnav in confusion.

"Why am I staying another room," I asked. "It makes no sense."

"Because I'm putting you in another room," Arnav said, taking the duffel bag out of my hand. "I'm keeping you away from me."

So this is how he plans on doing this?

"Arnav, no matter what you do, it won't stop me from loving you."

Arnav looked back at me once he placed the bag down. "Well I hope that's wrong," and he left the room, bumping my shoulder as he passed by me.

I felt my heart stop for a split second. Did he really just say that? Tears formed in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall free and fisted my hands and looked up in the air, stopping myself from crying.

Fine, I said in my head. If this is how you want to do it Arnav, then I accept.

Chapter Nineteen

I walked out to the terrace as Arnav went upstairs to the library. Sigh... why is it so hard to tell someone your feelings? -____- ridiculous.

I heard Arnav's voice and he came into the living room. I entered as well, but he was still on the phone. When he saw me, he held a finger up, requesting another minute, and I nodded.

Sigh... this is starting to get irritating.

I went into the gallery and started pacing there as Arnav spoke on the phone. A few minutes later, Arnav came in, placing his phone in his pocket.

"Okay, I'm free now," he stated.

I chuckled lightly.

"So what were you going to tell me," he asked curiously.

Uh oh. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my courage up, ready to tell him.

"Well," he asked.

Oh good grief, why is this so hard!!!!!!!!!!!

Arnav scrunched his eyebrows.

"Um... well...."

Arnav crossed his arms, still looking curious.

Okay, I need to get this over with! Or else I'll never do it cause I'm a coward.

"Okay, I'll say it," I breathed.

"Okay," she smirked slightly, and I know he's entertained by my fidgeting, so I made a face.

"Sorry," he said.

I rolled my eyes and then took a deep breath. "Well... we've been spending quite some time now together, in fact, a long time together."

Arnav tilted his head.

"And of all the guys I've met, you're the only one that I've really trusted. I've trusted you enough that I've even shown you everything there is to me. Mentally... and physically," I blushed. "And spending all this time together, I've realized something."

Arnav scrunched his eyebrows again and the corner of his lips curved slightly. "And what's that," he questioned.

I took a deep breath and let it all out. "That I love you," I breathed.

Arnav's face went blank, his expression falling. He just stared at me, blinking only once. I looked down, feeling unsure if telling him now was even right! But what can I do now?! I already told him!

Shit!

"What did you say," Arnav breathed.

I looked up at Arnav, him already looking into my eyes. "I love you," I breathed.

Arnav turned away and looked out at the terrace. I looked at his face so that I could figure out what he was thinking, but I got nothing.

"Arnav?"

Arnav turned away from me and stepped away into the living room. "You can't Khushi."

I scrunched my eyebrows. "What?"

Arnav whipped around. "You can't love me Khushi!"

I felt my heart drop. "W-what? ... why?"

"Khushi, do not ask me questions. All I'm saying is to NOT love me."

I felt my heart starting to break, but I was completely confused. "Arnav, I can't do that because I already love you-"

"What do you not fucking understand," Arnav boomed. "I said to not fucking love me! I'm not worth loving!"

"I don't get what you mean-"

"I don't care if you fucking get it or not - you cannot have those fucking feelings for me! Do NOT fucking love me!"

I just gaped at Arnav. I don't think I've ever seem him this angry.

Arnav turned away. "Just go home Khushi."

Go home? But why? I felt so confused and completely heartbroken.

"Khushi you need to go home - NOW!"

I shook my head. "I won't," I exclaimed, tears forming in my eyes. "Arnav I can't leave you, I-"

"I don't CARE! Just fucking leave!"

"I don't get it! Arnav, why can't I love you?!"

Suddenly, Arnav grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall, my wrists pinned.

"Ah! Arnav-"

"Understand this Khushi," Arnav said, looking straight into my eyes with complete anger, "I am NOT capable of loving. At all."

"I don't care-"

"But I do! You need to leave!"

"But I won't!"

Arnav looked away and then back at me. "Khushi, I am begging you - please leave."

The tears escaped and came flowing down as I shook my head. "No," I whispered.

Arnav cupped my face and whipped my tests away with his thumbs. "Please don't cry."

"I can't. ... I'm scared you might leave me."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because of how you're behaving! It's like you might leave me and never want to see me again."

And then out of nowhere, Arnav hugged me.

"Please don't cry," Arnav murmured into my hair.

I held onto Arnav tightly. "Have I done something wrong," I whispered.

"Khushi... the thing is that no one can love me."

"I don't believe that."

Arnav broke away. "Trust me Khushi, it's true."

"I don't care. I love you too much," I said, looking directly into his eyes.

Arnav let go of me and walked away. He made a sound of frustration and then turned to look at me, having this look that I couldn't understand whatsoever.

"Fine then," Arnav said, putting his hands in his pockets, his head tilted. "I'll make you a deal."